Page 1 of Keep Me

Prologue

Freshman Year

Dear Spillit,

Is anyone interested in dating these days? I’ve been here for two weeks, and I’m already tired of trying to find a genuine connection with someone on the Covey Connections app.

Meeting a guy organically seems like a bust too. No one wants to talk anymore. Things have gotten so bad, I tried untying my shoelace to see if my dream man would notice and strike up a conversation. Unfortunately, I’ve yet to meet a guy who looks that far down.

Help! I want to find love, but I don’t think anyone else is looking for it.

Yours truly,

Desperate and Hoping

Dear Desperate and Hoping,

It’s tough in a world of fast hookups and even faster breakups, but I’m sure there’s someone out there waiting to tie your shoelace.

Why not try the bonfire tonight? Is there any place more organic than meeting the love of your life while roasting marshmallows and avoiding hot embers?

Sincerely yours,

Spillit

Gnawing at my bottom lip, I squinted at the familiar face across the flickering flames. Sienna? Was that her name? I couldn’t remember but knew she was in my broadcasting class. Confident, funny and with a line of people waiting to talk to her, she was everything I wanted to be but wouldn’t dare to try. Not after my track record in high school. When my three brothers convinced me to join the football team in sophomore year, I had no idea people would start calling me a Pick Me. A label which proved impossible to shake.

I planned on doing things differently this time. Instead of focusing on making friends, I was going to let people come to me.

My only problem… No one was being drawn in by my smile.

Was the outfit putting people off? Maybe I should’ve worn a dress. Sighing, I pulled down my white top, covering the sliver of skin on show at my midriff, and combed through my long blonde hair in an attempt to calm my nerves.

Okay. One, two, three.

And chill.

My shoulders sagged, and I relaxed onto the log. Well, as much as I could with the knobs digging into my butt.

When a calmness washed over me, I thought it was surely my time to shine. People would see it and want to say hi.

Another five minutes went by… Nothing.

I was still alone, and everyone else had someone to talk to. Goose bumps pricked my skin. Would I forever be known as thegirl no one wanted to talk to? Had I come on too strong again without trying?

I picked up the marshmallow and stick next to me, impaling the velvety puff as I watched it cave under the pressure of the spike. It was a good distraction from my loneliness, but also made me think. Maybe I could learn something from this. Maybe I needed to just let things go and force the nervous energy out. Could people sense I was nervous about flaunting my tragically single status to the entire campus? Who really cared about things like that, anyway?

Me. That’s who.

No friends. No boyfriend. Not even a magical talking frog was willing to save me from the loneliness of the bonfire, and I hated it.

Biting my bottom lip, I forced myself to think of the prickle of pain instead of the prickle of guilt gnawing away in my stomach. Max, my brother, would be on the mound right now, and I was missing the weekly family catch-up just to sit here all alone. It was the first time in months that I hadn’t watched him play live. All because I came to this stupid event thinking I might meet the love of my life.

Why did I listen to that stupid Spillit advice column?

Twirling the stick in my hand, I placed it into the flames and watched as my marshmallow burned. Pristine white fluff quickly turned to black embers, feeling a heavy emotion washing over me.

Embarrassment.

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