Page 101 of Unexpecting

″I think it’s mine,” I told them. I recognized the ringtone. “Did you bring my bag with you?”

Cooper pulled it out from under the bed and handed me the phone. I answered without checking who it was.

″Where the hell are you?” Brit screamed over the phone. She didn’t really scream scream, but it was pretty loud. But before I could tell her what had happened, I was blindsided by a tirade.

“I’m sitting here in the bar you wanted to go to by myself! Morgan is late, and neither of you has the consideration to call and tell me. Instead, you probably love the idea of me sitting here all by myself. I thought you were a better friend than to—”

She was yelling so loud that J.B. had no trouble hearing the entire conversation from his seat by my bed. He plucked the phone from my hand before I’d had a chance to get a word in edgewise.

“Shut your mouth, Britney!” he yelled into the phone. “If you’d shut up for a goddamn minute, Casey could tell you the reason she isn’t there listening to you moan about your pathetic excuse for a marriage is that she’s in the hospital!”

Silence on the other end. Or maybe she was speaking quietly now. But no. “OhmyGod!” I heard her cry. “What’s wrong? Was it an accident? Are the babies okay? Is Casey all right? What happened?”

″She’s at Women’s College, room 415. Come and see for yourself. And if you start to bitch about anything, I myself will throw you out on your bony ass, so make sure you behave yourself!” With that, he clapped my phone shut. Cooper actually applauded.

″Good for you!” he cheered. “I’ve wanted to do that forever to her.”

″Felt pretty good,” J.B. grinned. “Sorry, her being your friend and all.”

I couldn’t say anything since there have been many a time I’ve wanted to do the same thing.

″She used to be such a nice girl,” Libby mused. “When she was in high school, remember the metal she used to have in her mouth, Case? Horrible. I wonder if there’s any correlation to her becoming gorgeous and a bitch at the same time.”

″She’s not a bitch.” I felt the need to defend Brit against such adversity. “She’s just…”

″Spoiled?”

″Shallow?”

″Selfish?”

″A cow?”

″She’s not a cow,” I said weakly.

″Yes, she is,” Libby said, straightening my blanket. “I think she’d be very difficult to live with. Very high-maintenance. I’m sure poor Tom is finding that out now.”

I didn’t say anything because things weren’t going well with Brit and Tom, but now wasn’t really the time to get into it. Turns out Brit has a serious case of post-wedding blues, which is compounded by a schoolgirl crush she has on Tom’s boss, so long story short, marriage wasn’t turning out to be all she imagined it would be. I think she had more fun planning the wedding than actually being the wife.

Brit made it to the hospital in record time. She oohed and aahed about my situation, but I could tell she was miffed at the lack of enthusiasm her rush to the hospital generated. Coop was dead-on about the selfishness. But Brit’s minute in the spotlight was cut short by yet another visitor.

″Mom,” I said weakly, shooting a how-did-she-know glance at Libby. Libby’s apologetic shrug told me she called her.

″Sweetface!” Terri cried as she rushed to the side of my bed that J.B. gave up for her. “I knew something was up as soon as I saw you this morning. I hope the news of the wedding didn’t upset you?”

″I’m dehydrated, Mom,” I told her dryly. “I need water. That’s it.”

″You need to take care of yourself,” she chided, full of motherly concern for the first time in years. “You have to take care of my precious grandbabies in there.” She rested her hand, with its inch-long pink nails, on my stomach. Luckily, Libby had adjusted the blanket, or I’d be worried about her talons poking right through me into my uterus.

″You take care of those babies. Triplets,” Terri breathed, her other hand against her chest. “Oh, Casey, what a gift. You’ll have three beautiful children. And you won’t need to have anymore.” J.B. turned a guffaw of laughter into a cough, which brought Terri’s attention to him. “Oooh,” she said skittishly. “You’re D. J., aren’t you? The daddy-to-be?”

″J.B.,” he corrected. “And yes, I am.”

Terri jumped up and engulfed him in her perfumed embrace. “Well, how sweet you’re here with my baby,” she told him, kissing him full on the lips before he could escape. “I feel like we’re already family.” She turned back to me. “What a hunk!” she said, sotto voce.

It might be possible to repair my relationship with my mother, but unfortunately, I couldn’t change who she was—the oldest flirt in the world. Well, maybe not the oldest, but a huge flirt nonetheless. And the oldest in the room.

After ten minutes of incessant chatter from my mother, my head was pounding, and I felt like throwing everyone out. Everyone except for J.B., that is. I loved how he was handling my mother, deflecting her questions and attempts at groping with his usual charm. Even with Eric in the room, my mother couldn’t keep her hands off a good-looking man. Eric obviously turned a blind eye. After his sincere, “Are you sure you’re all right? Is there anything I can get for you?,” Eric stood at the back of the room, talking quietly to Cooper and Emma.

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