Page 68 of Unexpecting

“I think we need to talk,” he said, running a hand nervously through his hair. I leaned against the doorway between the living room and the kitchen and looked at him. He was barefoot, with his unattractive feet on display, wearing a battered pair of jeans and an AC/DC concert T-shirt that was once black, but age had faded it to an ugly grey-brown. He looked overdressed compared to me in my gym shorts and ratty T-shirt with holes under both arms and a slash across the front that exposed an inch of not-too-taut midriff. I suddenly realized I’d yet to shower today. I didn’t need a mirror to tell me I was looking pretty bad right now!

″You think?” I asked lightly, even though my heart was going a mile a minute. “Come in.”

As soon as J.B. sat down on the couch, Sebastian crawled over to him and started butting his hand with his head. J.B. looked around the room. “You tidied up.” There was a note of amazement in his voice.

″I do that every once in a while. What do you want to talk about?” There was no way I was going to make things easy for him. Not unless he’d come prepared to grovel, and grovel well.

J.B. cleared his throat. “I think I screwed things up,” he admitted slowly. I sat down and waited for him to continue. This definitely had the potential for groveling. “You having a baby—me having a baby—I wasn’t ready for it.”

″Nooo,” I said. “Sometimes it’s hard to be ready for that. That’s why they give you nine months to get used to the idea.”

″You seem to be fine with it.”

″I’m able to take responsibility for my actions,” I told him coolly.

J.B. winced. “I deserve that. Look, Casey, I’m sorry. I screwed up. You told me and I—I freaked out. I got angry and scared. I’m sorry. I’ve been an ass.”

″You have,” I admitted.

″The thought of having a kid freaks me out. It was worse than it was with Betsey—back then I was just pissed off. I was pissed off for about a minute when I thought you did it on purpose.”

″I would never do that.”

″I know. You didn’t hear me—I was only pissed off for about a minute before I realized you would never do that.”

″Good. I wouldn’t do that.”

″I know. And then I practically forced you to marry me—I don’t know what I was thinking.”

″Me caveman, you pregnant woman?” I suggested lightly.

″Yeah, maybe,” he said with a little chuckle. “I know you can take care of yourself—you’ve been doing it forever—but I thought that you thought I needed to do that.”

″I don’t.”

″Yes, I know. Why didn’t you tell me about David?” he asked abruptly. “You made it seem that the two of you were all hot and heavy and I was standing in your way for your ‘one chance at happiness.’ And then you lay it all out last weekend about him being gay?”

I blinked with surprise at the sudden switch of topic and at J.B. quoting me—it’s exactly what I said the morning after David stepped back into my life, when I was convinced he was part of my future and I had no idea Italian Stallion Marco existed.

″You make it sound like he’s some sort of criminal,” I protested.

″This is nothing about his sexuality,” J.B. roared. Well, not roared like a lion roars, but almost a shout. I blinked with surprise again. “I couldn’t give a damn about that! I’m pissed because you made me feel like shit because I screwed things up between the two of you. I beat him to the post, or whatever stupid thing you said. And now you tell me he’s gay, so there wasn’t any hope to begin with for the two of you.”

″Well, no,” I said meekly. “I mean, yes, I said that, and yes, he’s gay. But I didn’t know that when I first went out with him.”

″The first time twenty years ago, or the first time a couple of weeks ago?”

″Both. He told me the day after I kissed him and he didn’t kiss me back.”

″So you knew he was gay when you got pregnant?”

″Well, yeah,” I admitted. “When I found out I was pregnant. I can’t believe Coop didn’t tell you this.”

″He didn’t. What was the point of making me feel I was in the way?”

″Well, you were. Sort of.” Okay, I’m not supposed to be the one feeling guilty about anything here. I could see a thundercloud of annoyance and confusion pass across J.B.’s face, and I hurried to explain. “David wants a baby too, so he asked me if I would have a baby for him. Or rather, with him. He thought we would raise it together. He would be the father, and I would be the mother.”

″I get how that works, thanks.”

---