Page 64 of Unexpecting

″Most,” Brit replied matter-of-factly, without a trace of ego. “And quite a few women. And it doesn’t seem to matter if they’re in a relationship. Men like to flirt with me.”

″But not David.”

″No, never.”

″So because of that, you suspected he was gay?”

″Of course. You never knew?”

″No! Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

Brit rolled her eyes at me. “I’m not that horrible a friend.”

Chapter Twenty-Seven

“Fathers often express apprehension over the impending baby. Some may even appear to resent the changes the baby will force them to make. But any anxiety or resentment the new fathers may be feeling will undoubtedly disappear when they are able to hold their newborn child in their arms.”

A Young Woman’s Guide to the Joy of Impending Motherhood

Dr. Francine Pascal Reid (1941)

David came over thenext Saturday afternoon to say goodbye before leaving for Italy. I was feeling very ambivalent about the whole thing. Of course, I wanted David to be happy and I was so glad that he’d found someone to love, but there was a teeny tiny part of me that was still bitter that it was not me he was in love with. Getting back with David had been a huge recurring dream for years. And then he walked into my life like he did? I could have easily believed it was fate, but then he had to go throw a wrench into it with the whole gay thing. And not only the gay thing, but the Italian lover named Marco that he’s willing to move all the way to Italy for. It’s not fair, but these days it seems like nothing is, so I just have to deal with it.

“So what happens if it works out with you and Marco—when, sorry,” I asked David as I was saying goodbye to him after his visit. “When you decide you have to be together, and there’s no way either of you can stand being apart for one more single day? What are you going to do then? Move to Italy?”

″Casey, the romantic,” David teased. “We’ll have to see what happens.”

″I never thought I’d be living vicariously through you,” I laughed.

″Bet you never saw this one coming. But, look, I’m so happy we hooked up again. Having you back in my life means a lot to me. It’s really the only thing that’s giving me second thoughts about going and giving Marco another shot. Part of me wishes I would just stay put in the city and take care of you.” David gave me a wistful smile, his brown eyes looking sad.

″That’s sweet, David, but I’m not about to be an excuse. If there’s even the slightest chance you can be happy with Marco, then you have to give it a try. I would never forgive myself if you didn’t go because of me.”

″I know, but I feel bad leaving you—alone and pregnant…”

″And almost thirty-six years old and perfectly capable of taking care of myself, even if I don’t know when I ovulate. Really, I’d love to have you looking out for me, but I really think that might lead to some unsuitable feelings on my part.” I smiled at him to take the sting out of my words. “Really, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me. Just concentrate on wooing.” I gave a visible shudder, and David laughed. “Can’t get used to that image yet—I’m trying, though. You go woo Marco. And tell me how it goes.”

″You, too,” David urged as he gave me a hug.

″Who am I wooing?”

″Keep me posted about the baby,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Things aren’t finished with you and the big guy, so let me know what’s happening there.”

I rolled my own eyes. “Whatever.” It had been three weeks since I’d found out I was pregnant, and I had to assume J.B. was still trying to get his head around the idea of being a father. It was like he’d gone into hiding. I’d hardly said two words to him since that night he proposed. Not that it could be considered a real proposal. Did I regret turning J.B. down? No way. I know I did the right thing. I’m not sure others will think that, which is why I’ve kept it so quiet.

″So you haven’t said what’s going to happen? Will Marco come back here?” I asked hopefully, not wanting to get into a discussion about J.B.

David shook his head ruefully. “I doubt it. I think if there’s any relocating to do, it’s up to me to be doing it. But I’ll go over and see what happens, and then come back and sort things out if I need to.”

″I’m going to miss you,” I told him sadly.

″Me too.” He wiped a hand under his eyes. “God, this is worse than breaking up with you the first time. You can come visit, you know. We can go to Lake Cuomo and stalk George Clooney together.”

″Sounds great,” I sniffed.

David gave me another hug. “I’ve got to go, or I’ll never have time to finish packing. Walk me to my car?”

When we opened the door to the hot July afternoon, I felt my stomach clench. But it was not nausea this time—J.B. was in the driveway playing basketball with three of his friends. I didn’t know how I’d missed the steady thunk-thunk of the ball or loud male voices as they continually ribbed each other. I don’t think I would have been so eager to walk David to his car if I had known they were out here.

---