Page 63 of Unexpecting

″You shouldn’t have done that,” Morgan said softly to me. She pushed her glass of merlot toward me. “Next time, use this.” I felt a laugh bubble up and watched as she handed Brit a Kleenex from her purse, then one to me before reaching out and taking my hand across the table.

″You’re insane,” Brit cried. “You completely ruin my makeup, humiliate me in front of dozens of people—what has this goddamn baby done to you?”

″Brit,” Morgan warned. Abruptly my tears stopped, and I glared at Brit. I pulled my hand from Morgan’s and reached down and grabbed my purse. I’d had it with her.

″She threw water on me!” Brit complained. “And called me a bitch.”

″You deserved it,” Morgan told her. “You’re lucky there wasn’t food on the table.”

″You damned my baby,” I practically growled at Brit.

″Oh, I did not. I didn’t damn anything. I didn’t mean anything.” Brit had managed to wipe her face without doing too much damage to her precious makeup and was now rummaging in her tiny purse for a compact and lipstick to reapply. It was an easy way to avoid looking at me directly. “Oh, sit down,” she told me. “You look like an idiot just standing there.” But the hostility was gone from her voice, and because I did feel like an idiot standing beside my chair, I sat down. As soon as I did, the waiter appeared with our dinners.

By the time he finished laying the plates in front of us with the usual warning about the plates being hot, Brit had fixed any damage to her face, but she was still not looking at me. I waited, my eyes narrowed, and imagined ways in which I could destroy her wedding.

″Fine,” Brit huffed. “Your hormones are just insane. Maybe I haven’t been as excited as you want me to about the baby. Sorry.”

″Tell her why,” Morgan instructed.

″What do you mean, why? I said sorry.”

″Tell her why you’ve been such a bitch about it. There’s got to be a reason, or is this just your natural bitchy side that we’re stuck with? If so, I’m not happy about it either.”

Brit huffed again. “Fine. You want to know why I haven’t been on board? You never talked to me about it before you went and got pregnant. You just had your silly little idea, then went and got knocked up, and what about me? I tell you everything.” I honestly didn’t know what to say to that, but before I had a chance, Brit continued, “Then there’s the whole baby thing itself. Do you realize how much this baby will change everything?” she cried, really warming up. “Did you think about that? Did you think about how I’m going to feel never being able to see you without some kid attached to you? We’ll never be able to do this again,” she waved her arms, almost hitting Morgan on the side of her head; “nothing will be the same. And I think that sucks.”

I had to laugh. “What about the fact you’re getting married? Did you think about how things will change then?”

″You have to deal with that, not me.”

Morgan started laughing as well. “You are so selfish,” she said, shaking her head.

Brit looked affronted. “So? I’m selfish and shallow and materialistic, and you both still love me, so what’s your point?” By this time Morgan and I were practically howling with laughter. “What?” Brit asked.

We had a good laugh, which was preferable to me crying; I apologized to Brit for the water; Morgan apologized to me for not being happier and even Brit grudgingly said she was sorry. Even thinking I might have to rush into the bathroom to rid myself of the pasta I ate didn’t spoil the rest of the evening.

″Now that you’re not in a snit any longer,” Brit said to me just before we left, “will you please tell us what’s going on with you and David? I think we’ve talked about everything but that, and I don’t know why you haven’t said anything for a while. Morgan told me about him being in your room at Cooper’s party. What’s going on?” She smiled coquettishly at me. “What’s he think of the baby thing? Any chance of wedding bells there?”

I rubbed my forehead in frustration. “Brit, how many times do I have to tell you? I don’t want to get married! And if I ever have a moment of insanity and do decide to tie the knot, trust me, it won’t be with David.”

″But I thought,” Morgan began, but I cut her off.

″David,” I said dramatically, “is gay.”

″What?”

“David is now a homosexual and has been one for some time. He did ask if I wanted to have a baby with him, but before I had a chance to get it on with him, I found out I’m already pregnant. He is also in love with anItalian stallion named Marco. He’s going to Italy to make hot, homosexual love with him, the thought of which might excite me if I wasn’t trying so hard not to vomit right now.”

″Oh, you’re not feeling well?” Morgan clucked at me.

″Morgan, focus on the important things!” Brit admonished. “David’s gay? I knew it,” she crowed triumphantly.

″How do you figure?”

″He never once tried to hit on me!”

I could only stare at Brit. As I said, there’s hope for her, but she is still very much a self-centered, egotistical woman, and that’s never going to change.

″Does every man have to hit on you?” Morgan asked dubiously. I was glad she said it and not me.

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