Page 55 of Lucky Star

Chapter Twenty-One

Sarah

Despite having to push our way through a swarm of paparazzi outside the airport, once inside no one approached Cameron for a picture or autograph. That likely had something to do with the black hoodie pulled over his head and the sunglasses shielding his eyes. Or maybe it was the scowl on his face. Whatever it was, I couldn’t say that I minded.

I didn’t mind much, in fact, because soon we’d be far, far away from everyone and everything associated with The Ties that Bind.

Ten glorious, romantic days on Vancouver Island.

A couple of years back, I’d read about Eagle Harbour, a tiny surfing town located at the literal end of the highway. The travel writer’s description of the village’s quiet beauty, rugged coastal landscape, and the surrounding temperate rainforests had me wanting to pack my bags for an immediate visit. When I’d shown the article to Cameron, he’d agreed. With most of the hotels booked solid, I’d managed to secure an oceanfront cabin a couple of miles outside of town. I couldn’t wait to sink into the hot tub that overlooked a mile-long stretch of sand.

My mood was further buoyed as I took in our fellow passengers and realized there was little chance of Cameron being recognized during the flight. Surrounded by business travelers with their laptops open to various and sundry spreadsheets, no one paid us the slightest bit of attention.

Figuring it was safe to do so, I threaded my fingers through Cameron’s and held his hand in mine for the first time in several weeks.

He turned and flashed me a smile, the relaxed, happy one I’d missed most. “Thank you for arranging all this,” he said, squeezing my hand.

“The second Broderick sent us up here, I knew exactly where I wanted to take you.”

“I thought you might try to plan something in Whistler since we haven’t gone skiing this year.”

“Too many people, not enough privacy,” I reminded him.

Covertly, he glanced around the cabin and, seeing that no one was looking, leaned over and kissed me. The press of his full, soft lips against mine sent heat unfurling through my body where it settled in the pit of my stomach. With the pad of his thumb, he rubbed circles over the skin on the underside of my wrist, and that heat expanded outward.

One touch from him could still turn me to jelly.

I leaned closer and cradled his cheek in my palm, kissing him back. When the tip of his tongue ran along the seam of my lips, my body clenched in longing. I opened my mouth to let him in and tilted my head to deepen the kiss.

Eventually, Cameron seemed to remember where we were and regretfully pulled away and leaned his forehead against mine. “I can’t wait.” His voice was a low, sexy whisper that told me just how affected he was by that kiss.

Greedily, I took in his beautiful masculinity and savored it. I’d doubted my feelings for him at times, but I recognized that doubt was a reaction to my anger, humiliation, and heartache. Now that I’d been reminded how good it could be between us, I vowed to stay the course. We had a lifetime together stretching out in front of us, and I wasn’t going to let anyone steal that from me. From us.

“No matter how hard this gets, or how difficult everything may seem, don’t ever forget how much I love you. I’d do anything for you.”

When I spoke, his eyes dimmed, and a hardening of his jaw warned me he didn’t want to discuss it. Unfortunately for him, some things still needed to be said.

“I can handle anything as long as when it’s all over you’re by my side. But I need to know you’re there with me, too. I can’t do this without your support. Please don’t ever doubt my commitment to you—”

“I don’t,” he said, his tone clipped. But then he exhaled, and his shoulders relaxed. “I don’t blame you, Sarah,” he whispered in my ear so as not to be overheard. “I did at first, and I took it out on you in ways I shouldn’t have. You can’t ever know how sorry I am for that. I was angry, and I wanted to punish you.”

He leaned away to look into my eyes, and I saw contriteness and worry staring back at me. “I know these past few months have been hell on you, and I can see the toll it’s taken.” His gaze skated over my face, taking in cheekbones that were a little more pronounced than they’d been before. “I want you to know that I recognize the enormous sacrifice you’ve made for me.”

With those words, the terrible vice-like grip that had crushed my heart since the first photos of he and Jillian walking hand-in-hand at our farmer’s market eased. The bitterness that had taken root deep in my psyche since he’d begun spending evenings with her instead of at home with me lessened. The humiliation and shame I’d had to endure as my mom ranted about how I was a fool for letting my fiancé spend so much time with a woman as beautiful as Jillian Templeton disappeared.

I turned my thoughts from the past to our future.

I pictured us growing old together, surrounded by our closest family and friends, our love strengthening over the long years we’d spend together. I imagined what our children would look like, how we’d raise them together, and how proud they’d be of their dad. As proud of him as I was.

“It’s not just for your career, Cameron. It’s for us; for the life we can have together. I’m going to try to make the best of it.” I held his hand tight in mine. “I’m almost thirty-four, and I want to give you babies. My sacrifice now means in a year or two I can quit my job, and we can make that happen. When I think about it like that, it’s no sacrifice at all.”

“You’re amazing, and I don’t deserve you,” he said, his words punctuated by a sad smile.

“You do deserve me, Cameron. We deserve each other.”

He took a deep breath and exhaled a long sigh. His eyes flicked between mine, and he licked his lips. “I’m not living up to my hopes and dreams for us. I told myself that if you took me back that first time, I’d be a better man, but I haven’t done that. I’ve only thought about myself, and how I felt. No matter how often I say I’m not going to, I always end up hurting you.

“I sometimes wonder if it wouldn’t have been better if I’d just stayed away so you could fall in love with someone actually worthy of you. Someone who doesn’t make you hide in the shadows, but who goes out of his way to tell the world he can’t wait to make you his wife. Instead, you’ve got me, and I can’t help but think you’ve settled for someone who won’t ever be what you need.”

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