Page 45 of Lucky Star

Except, I didn’t. And now I wished that instead of Cameron telling me their opinions didn’t matter, he would have said they were wrong. And because he didn’t, that made me think that on some level he knew there was some truth to it.

And because I was thinking that, I had to know to what extent he would have gone to protect our relationship.

“Would you have really thrown it all away? You’ve worked so hard, and for so long, that I thought I was doing the right thing when Broderick approached me. But if you tell me right now that I’m more important to you—that our relationship is more important than your career—I’ll walk away with you.”

He waited a few beats to respond, and when he did, his words crushed me. “They’ve already announced the cast and promotion has started. I’m locked in.”

I dropped my head in defeat. Based on all his talk of me not fighting for him, I truly thought he’d say yes. Perhaps it had been naïve of me, but I’d expected a different answer.

I marshaled my resolve and continued. I didn’t know why; maybe I thought I could convince him? “Charlie Hunnam walked away from Fifty Shades of Grey, and they did just fine without him.”

“He had Sons of Anarchy. I don’t.”

“You can have me.” I felt a tear slip from my eye, and I slashed my hand angrily across my face, wiping it and its traitorous companions away. With each passing second, I felt my control slipping further and further away.

Cameron stared at me, and the silence wrapped around us like a shroud. His face had gone blank, and I couldn’t read what he was thinking. His expression reminded me now that he made his living hiding under masks. He slipped into the skin of other people, people who didn’t exist in real life. In that moment, I wondered who was standing across the room from me, because it sure as shit wasn’t a Cameron I knew.

Staring at me unblinking, I waited for him to speak. “I already have you,” he finally, climbing back into bed and turning off the bedside lamp. When he rolled over and gave me his back, I knew he was done talking for the night.

This could have been the conversation that saved our relationship, but instead, he’d shut me out. I knew Cameron loved me, but maybe he loved his career just a little bit more?

It was only as I stood there wondering how things had gone so wrong that I realized I’d been standing there naked with Cameron’s semen coating my inner thighs. Grabbing my robe, I wrapped it around me and padded out of the room on silent feet. I showered in the guest bathroom and then spent the next several hours painting sad pictures of sad things.

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