Page 18 of Lucky Star

Cameron caught me ogling him and laughed self-consciously. “Umm …” he muttered, looking around the room to find something to cover himself.

I took pity on him and tossed him a robe that hung just outside the bathroom door. It was a shame to cover up such perfection, but it wasn’t fair to make him stand around wearing nothing but his birthday suit.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, wrapping the fluffy, pale pink robe around his body and tying the satin sash in a loose, awkward knot.

Smirking, I noted, “Pink is definitely your color.”

My remark caused him to turn several different shades of the hue in question, and I almost felt bad for teasing him. Almost, but not quite.

Our shouting match suspended, I plopped down on the bed and waited for him to join me. Instead, he paced the room collecting the clothes he’d tossed this way and that the night before.

“I think we need to talk,” I said, interrupting his search for his underwear.

He turned and looked at me over his shoulder. “Yeah, I think so, too. Let me get dressed first?” Clutching a bundle of clothes to his chest, he strode into the bathroom

It struck me odd he hadn’t felt comfortable enough to dress in front of me given that he’d had no problem undressing the night before. I wondered if his sudden reluctance had anything to do with my bringing up the movie.

But what if that wasn’t it at all? What if in the harsh light of day, he regretted everything that happened last night, and all that talk of friendship a few minutes ago had been my clue? Clues I’d completely missed until now?

My stomach lurched, and I swear I felt a literal pain in my chest, the thought of him walking away from me again more than I could handle.

If he thought he was going to do that to me again, he had another think coming. I loved Cameron with all my heart, and I would do just about anything to be with him, but I wouldn’t let him toy with my heart in the process. To quote the incomparable Meatloaf, “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.”

A handful of minutes later I heard the shower turn on, and I cursed him. Pulling on a pair of yoga pants and a loose black tank top, I twisted my hair into a topknot. As I finished securing it, Cameron emerged, and his eyes landing on me.

“I’m going to make us some coffee.”

“You know where it’s at.” I tried to keep the irritation from my voice but failed. “Be my guest.”

I didn’t want to be angry over his mood swing, but I could feel myself gearing up for a fight. And the more I considered my reaction, the more I realized that I still harbored some amount of resentment for what he’d put me through.

I made my way to the kitchen to find he’d started the coffee and set out a bowl of food for Duke. My dog had quickly forgiven him even if I hadn’t. I watched my two best friends together—man and beast—and despite my aggravation, felt a surge of warmth in my heart. Sure, just a few seconds ago I’d wanted to tear Cameron a new one, but now? I wanted nothing more than to hug him to me and never let go.

Now, who is being emo?I thought with an inward roll of my eyes.

Regardless of what Cameron had said when we’d first woken up, his talk of nothing changing wasn’t entirely true. In the span of thirty minutes, we’d gone from perfection to … not perfect. Now, there was a tension that hadn’t ever existed between us before. There was no good reason for us to have started the morning by yelling at one another, no reason whatsoever for Cameron to have retreated into himself yet again.

I just hoped we hadn’t fucked things up before we could even begin.

Cameron glanced up from where he was petting Duke. As if he could read my inner thoughts, he said, “For what it’s worth, I liked waking up here.”

“You wouldn’t have known it,” I responded, my voice flat.

“I think I panicked.”

“No shit you panicked. But why?”

“I dunno,” he said, standing up and leaning his long, muscular body against the counter. “Things were so perfect. I woke up, and you were smiling at me, and I felt this deep, profound sense of rightness.” He smiled briefly, but then his lips settled into a frown. “I’ve wanted to be with you for so long, but it seems like nothing has gone the way I thought it would.”

He eased himself away from the counter and came to stand in front of me, putting his large hands on my arms. At the feel of his skin touching mine, my stomach dropped to somewhere around my knees, and my heartbeat accelerated. This man could control my body without even trying; just one slight caress and I was ready to melt into him.

“I didn’t think there’d be any surprises, but I also hadn’t counted on messing things up so monumentally. Now, I feel like every interaction we have is laced with your anger.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but he put a finger to my lips.

“Just hear me out. You’re still really angry about what happened, and I don’t blame you. I’m still angry with myself. But when we were fighting back there—” he gestured toward my bedroom “— this look came over your face, and it shocked me. I realized I’ve never seen you truly angry before. Sure, I’ve witnessed your road rage first hand, and seen how upset you can get over something your mother has said or done, so I thought I knew what to expect. But what I saw when you were yelling at me just now was something entirely different.” He shook his head sadly. “You looked like you hated me; like you wanted me gone from your life, and I don’t think I can live with that kind of hate, Sarah.”

I was about to deny it, tell him he was wrong, but deep down inside I knew he wasn’t. Despite how wonderful the night before had been, I still hurt. Even though I now knew why he’d done what he did, it didn’t change the fact that I’d spent the last month wretched and humiliated.

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