Page 11 of Lucky Star

Chapter Five

Cameron

Shortly after midnight, the light in Sarah’s cube finally switched off. A handful of minutes later, she walked out of the building with her purse clutched tight to her side, her eyes darting back and forth to take in her surroundings. I wanted to kill Broderick for keeping her at the office so late without providing security to make sure she made it to her car safely. There could be any number of assholes lying in wait. But as I glanced around the empty parking lot, I realized I was the only asshole there.

When Sarah saw me leaning against her car, she stopped and gasped, bringing her hand to her mouth to stifle the sound.

It had been a month since I saw her last; since I’d walked out on her during the best sex of my life. No doubt about it, she still took my breath away. I’d thought our separation would do us good, but now I knew that had been a sad joke. On both of us.

It was a dick move to show up unannounced like this but calling to explain why I’d made the choices I had wouldn’t have been right either. I’d taken a chance surprising her tonight, but as everything had unfurled today—all the madness and mayhem that had descended once the movie’s announcement went out—the only person I wanted to share the moment with was Sarah.

After a few moments, Sarah straightened her spine and summoned her courage. Without engaging me in conversation or giving me an opportunity to do the same, she popped the trunk of her car, dropped her bag in, and marched to the driver’s side door. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched me track her progress. When I braced my hands on her roof, she scowled at me.

“Get in or go away,” she said, opening the door and sinking down into the driver’s seat. When she turned the key in the ignition, I fell in next to her. Without another word, she glanced over her shoulder and dropped her hand to the gear shift to put it in reverse.

I put my hand over hers. “Wait. I want to talk to you.”

“Fine, you talk, I’ll drive,” she huffed.

“We both know you won’t pay attention to what I’m saying if you’re driving. You’ll be distracted.”

“I’m not an idiot, Cameron. I can listen and drive at the same time.”

She was trying her best to stay calm, but I’d known her long enough to recognize that tone of voice. It was the same one she adopted when her mother treated her like a child, and I knew she was seconds away from blowing her fuse. Since that was the last thing I wanted, I tried a different approach.

“This is important Sarah. Please?”

She slumped her shoulders in acquiescence and turned off the engine.

“Speak,” she whispered into the charged silence.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yes, you’ve said that. It’s been awhile since you’ve said it, mind you, but we’ve covered that.”

“We shouldn’t have done that.”

“So you said.”

My heart twisted when I heard pain and frustration seep into her voice. Not only had my actions hurt her, but I’d also humiliated her which had never been my intention. I’d tried to do what was best, but in the end, I’d only made things worse.

“I shouldn’t have left you like I did, but we shouldn’t have done it in the first place.”

Since the moment I’d rolled away from her I hadn’t been able to say out loud what had transpired between us. In my head, I’d called it that and it. Drunk as I’d been, it hadn’t been making love, the way I’d hoped our first time would be. It had been hot and nasty—we’d fucked, plain and simple. I could have fucked any woman I wanted, but what I needed was to make love with Sarah. That I hadn’t was something I'd struggled with every day since.

At my words, something inside of Sarah snapped, and her eyes flashed in the dim cabin. I watched as her hurt transformed into indignant fury, and I had an inkling of what the next words out of her mouth would be.

“Shouldn't have done what Cameron? Fuck? Is that what you mean? Lord knows you can’t even say it, so pardon me for being confused.” She smiled, but it was a cynical tilt of her lips, not the sweet one I loved.

I shifted in my seat to face her, my jaw set. If that’s how she wanted it to be, fine. “Yes, Sarah. Fucked. Is that what you want me to say? Is that how you think of it? Okay then. I shouldn’t have fucked you, and you shouldn’t have fucked me back. It should never have happened.”

She flinched, and it made me glad. Perversely so. Almost too late, I realized the angrier I reacted, the move livid she became. And really, could I blame her? After all, I was the one who’d ruined everything between us. I had no right to be mad. Not at her at least. I could remain plenty pissed at myself though.

“This is good. You finally admitting these things out loud means I don’t have to be sad anymore, don’t have to cry over having had my world shattered. I can do something with anger, use it to fuel me.” And then her voice dropped even lower. “Anger’s so much better than the heartache I’ve been holding onto for so many weeks.”

I watched as she visibly stiffened her spine and then she raised her voice. “But what I don’t get is why you’re so broken up over it. I never demanded your undying love. All I asked was that you fuck me hard and make me come.”

“Fuck, Sarah. Crude much?”

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