Page 43 of Lucky Star

Chapter Sixteen

Sarah

Cameron was at the grill, cooking up some ribeyes, while I was inside throwing together a salad. When I finished, I joined him in the backyard with two beers in hand. We chatted guardedly about my new job before discussing how excited he was to begin pre-production. Nervously, I told him how Jillian had cornered me in the bathroom, complimenting his grandmother’s ring. When the conversation became stilted, I wondered aloud if we’d ever meet the mysterious Murray. After that Cameron had clammed up, and our conversation had petered out.

Eventually, I retreated to the bedroom to read. An hour later, he joined me, smelling of booze. Wordlessly, he took the Kindle from my hands and placed it on the nightstand. Cupping my cheeks, he stared into my eyes, searching my face for several long moments before kissing me. It started out light, but then he deepened his pull on my lips, sucking my tongue into his mouth. Quietly, he undressed me and as he entered me, his groaned.

He rocked in and out of me, and I held on tight, wanting to tell him with my body that everything would be okay. As he came, he whispered my name and then dropped his forehead into the crook of my neck. I felt his lips against my throat, a smattering of feather light kisses, before he rolled away.

Afterward, I lay there, quietly staring up at the ceiling, my body unfulfilled and my heart tormented. Despite knowing exactly where to touch me and how, he hadn’t taken the time to make me come. Tears burned my eyes, and I sucked in a breath to try and keep them at bay.

“Goodnight,” Cameron said into the darkness. When he added “I love you” as an afterthought, the words sounded hollow to my ears.

I had no idea how to repair what was broken between us. Too scared to speak, I listened to his breathing, waiting for the change in depth and cadence to indicate he’d fallen asleep. When after ten minutes it didn’t come, I realized he lay awake as well.

“Cameron?”

“Go to sleep, Sarah,” he responded several heartbeats later.

I rolled onto my side and propped my head on my palm so that I could look down at him. “Please talk to me. We have to fix this.”

He rolled over to face me. “I’m …” he began, then stopped. With a sigh, he said, “I just need time.”

“Time for what?” I could guess, but I needed to hear him say it.

“Time not be pissed at you.”

“That’s not fair.”

He huffed. “Fair? You want to talk about fair? You blindsided me today.”

“I told you—”

“Right, you were just doing what was best for my career. Without asking me how I felt about it. What if I had done the same thing to you?”

Don’t be reactionary. Keep your cool. Don’t yell.

I reacted. Angrily, and with absolutely no trace of cool.

“What, like not telling me you were going to blindside me by pretending you and Jillian were already together? You mean like that?” How could he not see that I was the one getting the fuzziest end of the lollipop. I was the one who had to hide in the shadows, who’d been told she wasn’t good enough, desirable enough. Sure, he was mad, but I was offended. “I’m sorry, but what the actual fuck?”

“Let it go, Sarah. It’s late, and I want to go to sleep.”

“Maybe you should have thought of that before you just fucked me without even trying to make it good for me.”

He bit back an oath.“Is that why you’re pissed? Because you didn’t come?” He reached for me, and I swatted his hand away.

“No. You don’t get to touch me now. I can get my intimacy from my vibrator if that’s all I was looking for. At least it won’t be judging me while making me come.”I jumped off the bed and paced the room, trying desperately not to cry.

Trying and failing.

I sucked in a lungful of air and clenched my fists at my side. Speaking into the darkness, I gave him an ultimatum. “You have two choices, Cameron Scott. You can sit up and talk this out, or you can leave my house.”

He flicked on the bedside lamp and turned to look at me. “Your house?”

“You know what I meant.” I’d called it that unintentionally, but I didn’t care that he was butt hurt over the Freudian slip.

He sighed and looked away. “Fine, talk.”

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