Page 11 of Ashes to Ashes

“Right. That’s actually why I’m here,” he pronounced.

I canted my head to the side and waited for him to continue.

Ash shook his head, and a smirk crossed his lips, drawing out a dimple I hadn’t noticed before. “Sorry. I’m shit atthis.”

“That depends on what ‘this’ is. If it’s creating long, awkward silences, you’re actually quite good at it.” I laughed to lessen the sting of my words. “If, however, you mean having a conversation with a woman you once fucked six ways to Sunday, then yeah … you’re shit atit.”

Ash’s eyes flashed with surprise and he barked out a deep, throaty laugh. I’d been on my best behavior the past several days, keeping The Swears at a minimum since most people outside my inner circle weren’t well acquainted with my trucker’s mouth.

“Ouch,” he answered, bringing his large, rough hand to his chest. “You woundme.”

I grinned then, happy to have the stilted silence behind us. “I'm sure you'll befine.”

But then our laughter died down and the mood turned serious. “You look good,” he observed. “Better.”

“Thank you. I feel better.”

Ash leaned forward, resting his forearms on his muscled thighs, and clasped his hands between his knees. He glanced down, and then raised his eyes back up. “I thought about you a lot … after.”

“And you swear you didn’t know who Iwas?”

“No. I kept thinking you looked familiar, but I couldn’t place it. I convinced myself it was because you looked like someone I must have once knew, and that’s why I couldn’t get your face out of my head. It niggled at me for a longtime.”

“You said you didn’t have a TV or a computer?”

“Nah,” he said. “Just me, a duffle bag, and my Harley.”

“So, you don’t live in Boisethen?”

He shook his head. “Was only there for one night, passing through on my way to Sun Valley for ajob.”

I nodded in response. That made sense. He hadn’t looked like he belonged in that bar because, like me, he hadn’t. Maybe that’s what had drawn me to him in the first place. My eyes darted to his muscled forearms. Yeah, that and his body. Even now I couldn’t keep my gaze from wandering over hisbody.

“I remember being surprised by your Southern accent,” I said. “I guess I’d been too drunk the night before, but I’d just assumed you were a local—if not by birth, then by residence.”

“I was actually born in Ohio, but spent some time in Louisiana when I was a kid. I pick up accents pretty easily. No one’s ever really been able to identify where I’m from.” He shrugged. “That’s probably because I’m not actually from anywhere. My family moved around a lot when I was a kid, and then I spent some time in the military so … ” His sentence trailed off, unfinished.

“My mom and I moved around a lot when I was younger too. And when you’re a singer, you spend a lot of time on theroad.”

Ash licked his lips, drawing my eyes to his mouth, and I had a brief flash of memory: his tongue trailing down my middle, his eyes looking up at me in wicked delight, and then the feel of his surprisingly soft beard rubbing against the inside of my thighs before he put those lips on my clit and made mecome.

He startled me back to attention when he said, “I came here to admit that I’ve done some reading up onyou.”

I dragged my gaze from his mouth to his eyes, looking for the censure I was sure I’d find. Instead, he regarded me with a look of quiet contemplation, like he was trying to fit together all the pieces of the puzzle that made up Rae Griffin, country superstar.

“Like I was saying before, when I left that morning, I couldn’t help but feel like I should have stayed—even though you obviously wanted me gone.” He chuckled, as if my being a complete bitch hadn’t been uncalled for. “If you don’t mind me saying, Ms. Griffin, you appeared lost and like you needed some help. It never sat right with me that I didn’t at least offer.”

My heart clenched and my stomach dropped. I’d made my peace with everyone who was close to me; had atoned for all the sins I’d committed against them—and myself. Now, I didn’t like revisiting that dark period of my life any more than necessary. Everyone around me knew that. But Ash wasn’t part of my inner circle, and this was the first chance we’d had to talk since he’d walked back into my life. The only reason I was even willing to have this conversation was because we were going to be spending a lot of time together and it was important we clear the air and hopefully move beyond our shared past. If he’d been anyone else—if we’d stumbled upon one another in some random situation—I would never allow things to get this personal.

And since we were getting personal, I said, “Please, call me Rae. I think we’re well past the point of using last names. Which reminds me, with all you McClintock men, I’m not sure if you’re Ash Something or Something Ash. I figure if we’re going to be living together for the next who-knows-how-long, I should at least know your fullname.”

His lips hitched up in a smirk, and I noticed the dimple in his right cheek again. It looked good on him—but all too fleeting since he wasn’t exactly a smiler. Not like Warsaw who, every time I saw him, was grinning ear to ear like life was one big happy accident and he was just enjoying every carefree moment ofit.

Pushing off his thighs with his palms, Ash reached across the space separating us. Extending his hand, he answered, “Ash Devereaux, at your service.”

I leaned forward and clasped his hand in my own. “Nice to meet you again, Ash Devereaux.”

We sank back into our seats and I fidgeted with the hem of my skirt. “As you correctly surmised, I was in a bad place when we first met,” I said, my pulse quickening and my palms beginning to sweat. Swiping them on the sofa next to me, I continued, “And even if you had refused to budge from that room, I’m not sure you could have helped me.” I raised my eyes and when they locked with his, I forced myself not to look away. “You see, as bad as it was, I hadn’t hit rock bottomyet.”

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