Page 19 of SCRUMptious

Chapter7

D O N AL

Lauren walkedin silence next to me during the slow, painful trek to my car. Almost 20 minutes later, we reached my BMW and I passed her thekeys.

“A word of warning,” she said, taking them in hand, “I haven’t operated a manual since I first learned how to drive.”

“And that waswhen?”

“Sixteen years ago,” she answered, a challenging note in her voice.

Ah, we were back there again. Just when I thought she’d gotten past our ten-year age gap, here she was bringing it up again. I could guess why, but that didn’t mean I had to likeit.

“Cool,” I shrugged noncommittally, not wanting to play into her fears and the issues they could create between us. Lord knew we already had enough to work through following my earlier outburst.

One problem at a time, I told myself as I leaned my crutches against the side of the car, opened the door, and dropped into my seat. Reaching back out to grab ahold of the crutches, Lauren sighed and jogged back around to myside.

“Here, let me get those.” She grabbed for them before I could, and tossed them in the back seat before making her way back to the driver’sseat.

Once she was buckled into her seat, we sat together in awkward silence. I hated it, hated everything about this fucking day. I just wanted to hit replay and start the whole thing over. God, how I’d do so many things differently. Except I couldn’t, so I forced myself to man up and address the elephant in the room. Err, thecar.

I swiveled in my seat as much as I could given the boot wrapped around my foot, and cleared my throat. “I’m sorry for not saying something sooner.”

“It’s okay,” she whispered, staring straight ahead and refusing to meet myeyes.

“It’s not something I go around advertising, youknow?”

A small, cynical chuckle passed her lips. “No, just the opposite.”

Her dismissive attitude raised my hackles. “What does that mean? I never lied aboutit.”

She finally turned to face me. “No, but then again, I didn’t think I needed to ask if you were a virgin. Nothing about you—about the way you talk to me—led me to believe you wouldbe.”

“What did you want me to say?” I asked, my exasperation mounting. She had no idea what it was like trying to keep this big a secret, to be living alie.

“For starters, you shouldn’t have asked me—repeatedly, I might add—if I wanted your cock if you had no intention of ever giving it to me.” She sighed again and blinked long and slow. When she opened her eyes, the angry heat that’d been there before had been tamped down. now, her expression was filled with regret and resignation. “Maybe this isn’t a goodidea.”

“Don’t say that. This doesn’t change anything.”

“But it does, can’t you see that? I already felt weird about our age difference, but knowing you’re a virgin too makes me feel like a dirty old lady, like I’m stealing your virtue or something.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. If that’s the way Lauren felt, that was the way she felt. But I needed her to know how I felttoo.

“Don’t you even want to knowwhy?”

She studied me for a few long seconds, her eyes flicking over my face. “Honestly, yeah.”

I took a deep breath and let it out. The only other person I’d ever talked about this with was Eoin, and he’d been great about it. But Eoin wasn’t someone I wanted to be with; the weight of responsibility associated with my virginity would never rest on his shoulders. If things went the way I wanted them to, Lauren was the woman I was going to be with. We might not have a lot of time left together, but I had every intention of making it count. But first, I had to get her to understand where I was coming from and then I had to make sure the idea of being with me didn’t freak herout.

“It’s a long, complicated story but it comes down to not wanting to be like my dad; not wanting to be with the type of girls who wanted to be with a guy likehim.”

“Look, I get family issues. Trust me, I’ve got my own. But you should have told me what I was walking into here, especially since you knew I wasn’t entirely comfortable with things betweenus.”

“Again, what did you want me tosay?”

Lauren loosened her grip on the steering wheel and ran her hands back through her hair. “I don’t know.” She flicked her gaze back to me. “I’m just caught off guard isall.”

“I get that, I do. Which is why I want to talk about it with you. I want to make sure we’reokay.”

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