Page 97 of Ruck Me

Chapter30

AOIFE

I wasthree months pregnant and I still hadn’t told anyone aside from Brienne, Tanya … andEoin.

It had been more than a week since I’d watched him walk out of my life. I’d stood there rooted to my spot, not correcting him, not telling him I hadn’t done what he’d accused me of doing. Not because I hadn’t wanted to, but as he’d unleashed his pain, I realized had it not been for a strange twist of fate in the form of a crazy Cockney bitch named Dot, I would have. Ultimately, I’d meant to get an abortion without ever telling him, and that made me all the things he’d accused me of being.

When instead I hadn't, I’d known things would be difficult, but I’d never guessed they’d turn out like this. Maybe it was naivety, but I’d planned to hide my pregnancy for a couple more weeks, and then, gradually, I’d just stop. I'd make an appointment with a different doctor who would confirm our worst fears, and then we’d “decide” together what to do next. Eoin would tell me I was insane for wanting to keep it—that he wanted no part of raising a kid—and I’d respond that I was doing it with or withouthim.

Much as it had pained me, I’d accepted I’d have to let Eoin go, even if I never stopped lovinghim.

But I never expected he’d turn the tables on me. I could understand his anger over my deceit, but the hatred and disgust I’d seen staring out at me from eyes filled with resentful tears had been shocking. He’d wanted the baby. He’d wanted it and I’d misjudged him. All the things I'd fucked up along the way had cost me hislove.

So now it was on to Plan B. Not that I necessarily knew what that plan entailed since I was making it up as I went. I didn’t trust my mother any further than I could throw her, but there was one person in this world who would never forsake me, who no matter what stupid thing I said or did (and the list was legion), would always have myback.

“Hey baby sister,” Declan said, stepping aside so I could enter. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

The Declan who stood in front of me was leaps and bounds different than the man he’d been at the beginning of the year. Back then he’d been sullen and angry, moving through life with a permanent scowl fixed on his face. Things had been touch and go for awhile there, but ever since Christmas, he'd been a changed man. Now that Sophie had moved in, I sometimes didn’t recognize the old Declan. Don’t get me wrong, he was still the same guy deep down inside—the same cocky asshole he’d always been—but this Declan was happy. At peace. I liked this new version a lot and hoped someday I’d be able to find something similar.

But that, I knew, was a long way off in the future. I needed to start worrying about the present. Hence, why I washere.

“Hey big bro,” I said, reaching out and hugging him tightly. He didn’t know it yet, but he was about to save my life, and for that, I was immensely thankful.

“Whoa!” he laughed, hugging me back and then pulling us apart. “What have you done with Aoife?” he asked--as if I were the unrecognizable O’Shaughnessy sibling.

“Is Sophie around?”

“Yeah, but she’s in the back. You want to go for a walk or something?”

“No, I want you both here.” I had a sneaking suspicion our little family would someday soon be growing beyond just the baby I carried, and because of that, Sophie needed to hear what I had to say as well. It was only a matter of time until he broke down and a ring. And when he did—because of course, she’d say yes—she’d inherit my messtoo.

“Okay then,” he answered, his gaze puzzled, as moved toward the back of the house. When we reached the kitchen, he walked straight to the fridge. “You want anything?” he asked, pulling out two beers and holding one aloft.

“No, thankyou.”

I averted my gaze and saw Sophie sitting at a wrought iron table on Declan’s patio. She was bundled up in a hat, scarf, coat, and fingerless gloves, typing away at her keyboard. “She knows it’s freezing out there, right?”

He laughed and made his way to the back door. “Yes, but the sun’s out. I offered to buy her one of those sun lamps but she refuses.”

“Hey Soph,” he said, sticking his head out. “Aoife’s here and she wants to talk tous.”

The second she heard my brother’s voice, Sophie’s head popped up, her lips spread in a beaming smile. Seeing the pure joy on her face made my chest constrict. I had that once, I thought, as I steeled myself for the pain of being surrounded by their happiness every day for who knew how long. I didn’t begrudge their love. I just wished I hadn’t been so careless with my own relationship.

When Sophie saw me, she waved and closed her laptop. Coming inside, she set the computer aside and blew into her hands to warm themup.

“You’re nuts,” I laughed, as she divested herself of the many layers of clothing shewore.

She smiled and shrugged. “The sun doesn’t care what temperature it is. You have to strike while the iron ishot.”

“See what I mean?” Declan asked, grabbing his girlfriend’s hands and rubbing them between his own to warm them up. “She’smad.”

Playfully, Sophie pulled her hands from Declan’s grip and planted them on his face. He yelped at her cold skin against his warmth and she cackled. “Mad for you,” she said, pulling him in for a quick peck on thelips.

I turned away to give them some privacy.

“You said you wanted to talk with us?” she asked after a couple of seconds.

I turned back to them, wringing my hands in front of me. “Um, yeah. We should probably sit down though.”

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