Page 94 of Ruck Me

I dropped to my knees in the middle of the parkinglot.

She'd been pregnant with mybaby.

She'd gone to London to get rid ofit.

Like a nightmare, the words repeated until there were the only thing I heard over the roaring of the blood in my veins.

When us having kids had only been an abstract idea, it wasn’t something I’d cared too deeply about. But with this news, a baby had gone from a theoretical to our reality, and that changed the equation.

It changed everything.

We were too young to have a kid, but she should never have made the decision without my consent. If she’d been dead set on getting an abortion, I don’t know how I would’ve reacted, but the fact that she’d never even given me the chance to figure it out made me want to punch something. We were supposed to be partners, or so I’d thought. But maybe Aoife didn’t see things thatway.

You know that’s not true, my brain argued on her behalf. You told her exactly what you thought about having a kid. You can’t blame her if she took you at yourword.

She went to London before that conversation ever took place, I argued back. She made the decision withoutme.

I closed my eyes and blew out a ragged breath. I could go back and forth with myself like this all night and get nowhere. I needed to see Aoife and learn firsthand why she’d betrayedme.

Climbing to my feet, I made my way to my car. Peeling out of the parking lot, I flew through the streets of Dublin, running red lights and stop signs, until I reached Aoife’s neighborhood. Pulling onto the curb in front of her house, I threw my car in park and turned off the engine. She wasn’t due home for another hour, but that was okay. I’d wait. And I’d wonder.

Had I pushed her into this with my careless words? Would I have wanted her to keep it? Did we stand a chance now that she hadn’t?

The longer I waited, one thing became painfully clear: I’d wanted that baby. I’d wanted the chance for us to make a family.

But she’d taken that away from me—from us—and I didn’t know if I could ever forgiveher.

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