Page 84 of Ruck Me

“Which means you’re a bloody adult,” she pointed out angrily, her voice rising to a fevered pitch. “So stop acting like a fucking child.”

I turned on my heel and marched to her door. Pulling my coat down from the hook, I attempted to shove my arms inside, but I only got tangled up in the thick, woolen fabric. Which gave Tanya enough time to reach my side and spin me around to face her. “I’m sorry, don’t leave. I didn’t meanthat.”

I glared at her, took in the wine-soaked flush of her face, the fright in her eyes. “I can’t do it, Tanya.”

“Just think about it, please. I’m beggingyou.”

“Why?” I asked. “Out of everyone, I believed you’d understand.”

Her head fell forward and when she raised it back up, her eyes were full of unshed tears. “If you had come to me two weeks ago, I probably would have.” She squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. “No, I know I would have. But everything changed when Aidan told me he’d gotten Katelyn pregnant. The man I love is having a baby with someone who isn’t me. The thing I wish for most in this world is that I wasn’t damaged goods; that Aidan and I could be together and we could have a family. You and Eoin have what Aidan and I never can,” she finished sadly.

“You could if you wanted to. I might be childish, but you’re a fucking coward!” I spun out of her grip and grabbed my purse from the floor. The last thing I saw before I rushed through the door was my friend standing here with her mouth hanging open, her face drained of color.

For a brief moment, I felt a stab of pain for the way I’d left things—for how my words had hurt her—but she’d hurt me too. Maybe it was selfish to have expected her support, but it was equally unfair for her to expect me to live my life based on her dreams. She couldn’t live vicariously through my baby, throughme.

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