Page 69 of Ruck Me

“You should introduceus.”

“What? No. Didn’t you just hear me? In case I wasn’t clear, he’s a player with a capitalP.”

Brienne shrugged. “Maybe I amtoo.”

“Please, for the love of all that is holy, tell me you’re not one of those girls who wants to fuck a guy just because he plays professional sports.”

“Athlete, banker, actor, bartender—it doesn’t matter. I’m an equal opportunity slut. If a guy looks good—and Liam there looks nice enough to lick—I’ll do him.” She stared me down, as if daring me to judge her. Well, she'd need to look elsewhere forthat.

I laughed out loud. “Oh my god, you sound exactly like Liam. Maybe you are perfect for each other. You should come to the next match, and I’ll introduce you afterward.”

Her whole face brightened. “I knew I was going to like you, Aoife O’Shaughnessy.”

“Why do I suddenly feel like a pimp?” I asked, shaking my head and turning back to my computer to see my Twitter timeline had exploded in the last fifteen minutes. “Back to work then,” I said, shooing her toward her desk as I scrolled to the top of the window.

“Ah shit,” I mumbled when I saw why there’d been such a torrent of activity. It seemed my boyfriend and his friends were a big bunch of idiots. As if you didn’t already know that, my subconscious chimed in as I scanned their tweets.

DublinHooker: Look who I met wandering around Dublin.

Fergie-Ferg: A fat hairydude?

DublinHooker: Look closer, asswipe. The man’s a legend.

TadhgO: Holy shit, is that who I think itis?

DublinHooker: In the flesh, gents. ??

Fergie-Ferg: I still don’t know who you’re talking about.

EoinMcGrath1995: @Fergie-Ferg, it’s Ron Fucking Jeremy man. *shakeshead*

Fergie-Ferg: Oh! Yeah, I see itnow.

TadhgO: Sometimes I worry about you @Fergie-Ferg.

Fergie-Ferg: @TadhgO First of all, I’m not wearing my contacts & you know I only watch girl-on-girl action.

DublinHooker: My boy Fergie loves him some lesbians! ????

I cracked my knuckles, laced my fingers and stretched my arms out in front of me, preparing to go in. Logging out of my work account and into my personal profile, I started typing.

PinkySprite: @DublinHooker @TadhgO @Fergie-Ferg @EoinMcGrath1995 LADS. Ease off the porn star talk or take that shit toDM.

PinkySprite: You’ve got kids following you. Do you really want them doing Google searches for yer man? Bunch of fecking idiots, youare.

DublinHooker: Oh fuck, @EoinMcGrath1995. You’re in deep shitnow!

TadhgO: Man, that must hurt, getting a public whipping from your woman.

Fergie-Ferg: So that’s how it is between you. She’s the disciplinarian. Nice. ??

PinkySprite: @DublinHooker @TadhgO @Fergie-Ferg I can’t believe you’re going to make me saythis …

PinkySprite: @DublinHooker @TadhgO @Fergie-Ferg … but don’t make me tell your agents!

Fergie-Ferg: Is anyone else getting turned on right now? Do you think I can get a spanking too from our girl @PinkySprite? ??

EoinMcGrath1995: There is no “our” about it, and I will fucking end you if you don’t shut your pie hole, @Fergie-Ferg.

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