Page 5 of Ruck Me

“How do you remember it then?” I asked, turning to him, my back against thedoor.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and raised his eyes to the ceiling. “That was a long time ago, Aoife.”

“Yes, it was,” I agreed, “but it’s pertinent to what we’re talking about now. You’ve never wanted to kiss me before, much less have sex with me. I need to know what’s changed.”

He dropped his hand into his lap and leaned his against the window. With his eyes closed, he replied, “You’re not going to let this go, areyou?”

“Nope.”

He opened his eyes to stare at me for several long, tense moments before finally responding. “Honestly?”

“Yes, absolutely.”

“The truth is, I never thought about you that way before.” He shrugged. “You were always just Aoife, the girl I’d grown up with. You’re fun to hang out with and you make me laugh, but until tonight, I’d honestly never thought about sex and you in the same sentence.”

Ouch. Maybe that’s why I was still a virgin. Perhaps that’s how all guys looked at me? Except no, I knew that wasn’t true. Plenty of guys had wanted to fuck me but I’d been the one to put the brakes on those shenanigans.

“I’m not sure that makes me feel any better,” I whispered. “And now I’m even more confused. If you don’t view me that way, why would you volunteer to have sex withme?”

He continued speaking, as if I hadn’t asked that very important question. “When I overheard you say you were still a virgin, my first reaction was shock. You know you’re beautiful, even with all that crazy pink hair, so I’m really not sure how some guy hasn’t managed to go there yet.” He smiled at me fondly, his eyes warm and … safe.

“Trust me, it’s not for their lack of trying. I just never wanted to before … not with any of them at least.”

He grinned, his dimples popping, and I realized what my statement must have sounded like to his egotisticalears.

Before I could set him straight, he continued. “But when I heard you say you were thinking about doing it with Kevin, I saw red. Literal red. He’ll only hurt you.” Eoin’s eyes were heated and his jaw ticked with suppressedfury.

Kevin wasn’t the ideal guy, true, but I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. In fact, I didn’t want Kevin sticking around once it was over and done with. That’s why I’d decided on him—I was pretty sure he wanted nothing to do with relationships. So in that regard, he was the perfectcandidate.

“Just so we’re clear, I don’t think the sun rises and sets on Kevin Dempsey. I know he’s an asshole, but that’s fine because I’m not looking for a commitment. I just want to get the deed done so I can finally know what I’ve been missing out on. The longer I go, the bigger a deal my virginity is, and I’m tired of it being a big deal. So unless you can convince me otherwise, I’m calling Kevin tomorrow.”

“Goddamn it, Aoife!” he snarled, leaning forward and grabbing my hand. Pulling me across the seat so our noses were practically touching, he continued in an angry whisper. “He won’t care that it’s your first time and he certainly won’t try to make it good for you. When I say he’ll hurt you, I don’t mean your feelings.” Dropping my hand like it had burned him, he signed and leaned away. “Please just trust me on this, yeah?”

Before responding with some smart ass comment, I studied Eoin, acknowledging this wasn’t your regular I-don’t-like-this-guy talk. He had a real, deep seated hatred for Kevin. I could appreciate there was something bigger at work here than just my personal situation, but I wasn’t about to base all of my plans on something he wouldn’t share with me. And yet, why wouldn’t I? Eoin was my friend, Kevin wasn’t. Hell, I didn’t even like Kevin. If a person I’d known my entire life was begging me not to do something because it was bad for me, why wouldn’t I listen? The only reason I could come up with was because I was stubborn as a mule and that was no real reason atall.

“If you say I need to stay away from Kevin, even if I don’t know why, I will. Okay?”

“Thank Christ,” he muttered on a relievedsigh.

But just because I’d ruled out Kevin, that didn’t mean I still didn’t have a plan to see through. I just needed to find someone else. It just couldn’t be Eoin.“But I’m not going to hold you to your offer.”

“You’renot?”

“It’s obvious you only volunteered because you were trying to keep me from making a mistake, but even without Kevin, I’m still doingthis.”

“Wait,” he said, turning quickly in his seat. “You won’t have sex with me, but you’re willing to have sex with someoneelse?”

I nodded, my decision resolute. “Yes, I am. But don’t think I’m letting you off the hook entirely. You don’t have to worry about fucking me, but you’re still going to helpme.”

“Iam?”

“Yes,” I answered, making things up as I went along. I’d spent a lot of time formulating my previous plan and it had all fallen to shit. Besides, I’d always done better when I just winged it. “You’re going to teach me what guyslike.”

“Ah fuck,” he muttered, shaking hishead.

“You only have yourself to blame, you know. If you’d have just kept your mouth shut you could be inside right now.” My eyes flicked to the glowing blue clock on the dash. “In fact, you’d probably be leaving with some girl right about now, wouldn’tyou?”

He checked the time as well. “Yeah, I would,” he answered ruefully.

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