Page 24 of Ruck Me

“Well, that’s what I’m calling about.”

“Way to bury the lead, Aoife. Aren’t you in school for marketing? Hasn’t anyone ever taught you that you have to start a story with the juicy bits first so you grab your audience by the balls and hold their attention?”

“I don’t think that’s how the professor put it, but yes. If this were a term paper and not me desperately asking my friend for advice about something that has kept me up the last three nights, I would have led with Eoin Volunteered To FuckMe.”

“Sorry,” she muttered.

I sighed, “It’s fine. I’m just really confused about how this got so out of control. I told himno.”

“Pity. He has a fantastic body. I know I call him Young Eoin, but that boy is allman.”

I coughed and snorted. “If you would please—”

“—Sorry,” she laughed, not sounding at all like she meantit.

“I’m not going to tell you what happened if you keep interrupting me. You’re as bad as those friends you were warning me off before.”

Tanya groaned. “Point well taken. Please continue. I’ll keep my trap shut … unless I absolutely can’t.”

“Promise?”

“Cross my heart.”

“So,” I said, starting my story over, “I told him absolutely not but then we got to talking and I said maybe instead he could teach me what guyslike.”

On the other end of the line I heard Tanya attempting to stifle a comical laugh. Coughing to cover up her snicker, she asked with as steady a voice she could muster, “And how did he respond?”

“How do you think?”

“I think he fell at your feet and thanked his lord and savior for his good fortune, is what I think.”

“Well, he wasn’t quite that excited, but he didn’t say no either.”

“Of course he didn’t.”

“But that’s when things got … different.”

“How so?” she asked, sounding genuinely curious and willing to help me get to the bottom of my feelings.

I paused before answering, an analogy slowly forming in my head. “You know how maybe you don’t really want something, like it would never even occur to you to want it, except then you hear people talking about it and now it’s all you can think about and suddenly, if you don’t get it you’re going to be very, very cross?”

“Uh, yeah. I know exactly what that’s like,” she answered, her voice taking on a strange quality. I wouldn’t call it bitterness exactly, but there was definitely somethingthere.

“Well, that’s what it was like with me and Eoin. We’ve talked about it and it’s the same for both of us. I never thought of him as anything but a kid I grew up with and vice versa. In fact, if you had asked me if I thought Eoin was hot I probably would have looked at you like you’re crazy. For my whole life Eoin has just been … Eoin. But on the drive back to Ballycurra? I couldn’t stop staring at him. I mean, you’re right. The boy’s grown up!” I laughed because that was certainly one way of puttingit.

“Only you wouldn’t have noticed how scrumptious Eoin is. If I was your age, I’d be going after him myself.”

I knew Tanya was just joking, but something about hearing another woman talk about Eoin that way sent a spike of jealousy snaking through me. Ignoring the unwelcome feeling, I continued. “And then, I couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss him. So … I um … I told him we should go through with PlanB.”

“Of course youdid.”

“But I also made sure we set some pretty specific rules about how this was going towork.”

“Smart,” she mused. “This way both of you go into things with your eyes wide open to what it is and what it isn’t. Best to set expectations early so no one gets hurt later.”

“But that’s just it,” I said. “It was just supposed to be one friend lending the other a hand. I mean, it’s not exactly a conventional arrangement, but first and foremost Eoin and I are friends. Or at least I thought wewere.”

“Were?” Tanya asked cautiously. “Did something bad happen?”

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