Page 103 of Ruck Me

Chapter33

EOIN

It had beenover a month since I’d last seen Aoife and except for a series of desperate text messages I’d received before blocking her number, it was like I’d never even knownher.

Except for the fact that I hadn’t been able to get past my anger.

At night when I lay in bed vibrating with suppressed rage, I counted all the ways I hated her. Not only could I never forgive her for what she’d done, but I despised her too for stealing my ability to trust women, to take them at their word. She’d turned me into a cynical bastard who never wanted to fall in love again, and I didn’t care who knewit.

A few times Donal had cautioned me to watch what I said in the locker room, but I was tired of the goddamn O’Shaughnessy siblings and all the ways they’d ruined my life. Not for the first time, I wished I’d listened to Declan when he’d warned me off his sister. Maybe if I had, I wouldn’t know the physical ache of missing something I never even knew I wanted until it was coldly and callously ripped from me. To know what it was like to look at the woman you loved and know that she’d betrayedyou.

“Hey man.” Jack Darcy, a teammate I rarely interacted with, slapped me on the back in greeting. “Rumor has it you’re done with Aoife.”

“She’s all yours,” I replied, unwilling to meet his eyes. But as the words left my mouth, a spike of adrenaline shot through me, causing my hands tingle. My brain and heart wanted to mean those words, but my body hadn’t quite caught up yet because the idea of Aoife with anyone else had the power to make me physicallyill.

You don’t care what she does, I reminded myself, fighting to control my outward reaction. She’s not your problem.

“Sweet,” came his quick reply. “She’s fucking prime.”

Forcing my gaze up, I tried for a minute to see Jack with Aoife. Objectively speaking, he wasn’t a bad looking guy, a little on the scrawny side, but compared to me most guys were. His freckles were set off by close-cropped, curly red hair that I couldn’t begin to imagine Aoife stroking as she’d done to me while I’d rested my head in her lap. Nor could I picture her grabbing a handful of it when she came, as she’d often done when she’d needed something to ground her while I sent her mind and spirit soaring.

Stop it, I forcibly reminded myself. You’re not going there.

But apparently Jackwas.

Leaning forward, he glanced around and then whispered conspiratorially, “She as good as theysay?”

What the actualfuck?

I hated Aoife for what she’d done to me—to our child—but I didn’t want this for her. And who the fuck was they in this scenario? My eyes flashed to my roommates huddled together a few feet away, and Ferg glanced away guiltily. We’d be having a conversation about that. In the meantime, I stared back at Jack, considering my response.

My first instinct was to pound his face in for talking about her that way, but my next was to push those feelings aside, to ruin her reputation for ruining me. What did I care if the whole goddamned world knew what Aoife was like inbed?

That was the problem with my subconscious—he was a fickle fuck. One minute he was crying into his tea, missing his girlfriend, and the next he was plotting divine retribution. Half sad, woebegone angel, the other angry, mischievous devil.

The devil wonout.

“Oh yeah man,” I answered, watching his excitement grow. “Aoife's so tiny you can do all these crazy Kama Sutra positions. And you should see this thing she does with her mouth. It’s—”

I didn’t have a chance to tell him about Aoife’s deep throating skills because I was dragged off the bench by the back of my neck and thrown against thewall.

“I will fucking kill you,” Declan spat in my face, one hand wrapped around my throat, his fist aimed squarely at my face. “You say one more word and you’re a deadman.”

My whole world slowed to a halt, and as if observing the situation from outside myself, I watched every eye in the locker room grow wide, expectant. Declan and I had been dancing around this moment since the very beginning, and now that it was finally here, I welcomed the fight. “Get your fucking hands off me, asshole,” I wheezed, pushing himback.

Unfortunately, the second he regained his balance, he came for me again, his fist connecting with my face in a blinding flash of excruciating pain. My arms flew up to protect my face from Declan’s blows, dropping them only once Liam Donnelly dragged him off me. Without conscious thought, I rushed Declan, intending to land a few blows of my own, but Aidan and Donal stepped between us, blocking mypath.

“Go to hell you fucking piece of shit,” I growled while trying to push the two other men off me. “You and your cunt sister need to leave me the fuck alone.”

A few of our teammates let out surprised gasps while the rest swiveled their heads in Declan’s direction to see how he’d handle the insult.

Shrugging out of Liam’s hold, Declan brushed the sleeves of his t-shirt down and cracked his neck. But instead of coming at me again, he grew still. Too still. “For that, I’m going to make sure her lawyer takes you for every goddamn cent you’ll ever make,” he threatened, his voice deathly calm. “I told you to stay the fuck away from Aoife but you didn’t listen, and now look what you’vedone.”

“What I’ve done?” I laughed maniacally. “What I’ve done?” My voice grew louder and more hysterical with each passing word until, without conscious thought, I told the entire team what she’d done to me. “She got rid of our baby—the one she never even mentioned being pregnant with." I scoffed, suddenly wondering if he even knew what she'd done. "Shit, maybe you didn’t know either. That bitch turned out to be an accomplished liar.” Declan stood there, stone faced and unfazed, letting me spew forth my vitriol. “Didn’t you hear me? She fucking killed my kid!” I roared, wiping blood from an open cut below my eye with the back of myhand.

“Not here, man,” Aidan said, as Donal tried to lead me away. “This isn’t the place.”

“He thought it was,” I said, gesturing at Declan.

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