Page 99 of Ruck Me

I blew out a long breath, sending my bangs fluttering over my forehead. “It’s a long story, but it comes down to Aidan getting that girl Katelyn pregnant. We talked about it a bit when we found out and Eoin literally said that was the worst fucking thing that could happen to a guy. I asked him if it was as bad as dying and he said—” my voice cracked “—he said it was a closecall.”

Declan blew out a frustrated sigh and let go of me. Settling back against the sofa, he and Sophie shared a meaningfullook.

“What?” I asked, my head bobbing betweenthem.

When Declan stayed silent, I turned to Sophie. “What aren’t you saying?”

Her eyes flicked to Declan and then back to me. “Did you ever consider maybe he was talking specifically about Aidan’s situation? No guy wants to get a random fuck buddy pregnant.”

I tugged on the snag in my leggings again and the thread gave, opening a tiny opening in the fabric that showed the skin above my knee. I continued to pull at the frayed edge until it grew bigger and bigger. Like the hole I’d dug for myself, I couldn't fix this either.

“I did think of that,” I said, “which was why the night before my appointment I asked him again how he’d feel if I accidentally got pregnant. He said while he wanted me to have his babies someday, it’d be a nightmare and we should stop talking about it in case we jinxed ourselves.”

“I’ll fucking kill him,” Declan muttered under his breath while Sophie shot him a death glare.

“Given that you’re here with us instead of with him, I’m going to assume he didn’t take it well when you told him you’d decided to keep thebaby.”

I’d tried my best to stay strong this past week and get past my broken heart—and I’d mostly succeeded—but Sophie’s question opened the floodgates once again. Between sobs, I explained, “He doesn’t know. He never gave me a chance to tellhim.”

“I know this hurts to talk about, and I can’t imagine how horrible you must feel right now, but you need to tell me what happened before my fury gets the best of me and I do go out and killhim.”

“Dec—”

“No Sophie, I’m serious,” he said to her over my head. “You told me to stay out of their relationship and let them make their own mistakes and I’ve done my best. But this changes things.”

“Let Aoife finish, Declan,” Sophie said, wrapping her arm around me again. “She’s upset enough as it is, she doesn’t need you growling at hertoo.”

For the second time in the span of an hour, I thanked God for bringing Sophie Newport back into my brother’s life. She was such a good, calming influence on him. I couldn’t wait until he wised up and married her. I couldn’t wait until I could call her my sister.

“It’s okay,” I sniffled, before recounting how Eoin had looked at me with such contempt before storming out of my room, leaving me unable to explain that I hadn’t gone through with it, that I was still pregnant with our child.

“Oh Aoife,” Sophie said, her voice sad and full of remorse, while Declan shoved his hand roughly through his hair. He’d been growing it out for several months and it was almost as long as mine now. “When wasthat?”

“Last week,” I answered, my voice tiny and embarrassed.

“You haven’t spoken to him in a week?” Declan asked, his tone incredulous.

“Eight days,” I clarified. “Eight long, miserabledays.”

“I’m going to fucking kill him,” Declan growled for what felt like the hundredth time since I’d arrived on his doorstep.

“Not helping,” Sophie reminded him—again.

“Fine,” he said, pushing out of his seat to resume his pacing.

“You have to tell him, Aoife,” Sophie said, her voice kind but firm. “You can’t let him go on thinking the worst ofyou.”

“But he’s right,” I answered, giving voice to my biggest shame. “I’m a liar and I deceived him, and if that woman hadn’t tackled me, I would have had the abortion and I would never have told him. I made a mistake—I know that—but it doesn’t make what he said about me any lesstrue.”

Across the room, Declan muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like, “I’m going to fucking kill the bastard.” I smiled despite myself. Declan had never been the most demonstrative brother, but I’d always known he cared about me. That love was what I’d counted on when I’d come here this afternoon.

“You know your brother and I love you, Aoife—don’t we Declan?” Across the room, he paused his steady march, nodded brusquely, and then started up again. “But that means we’re also going to hold you accountable when you mess up. You need to tell Eoin he’s going to be a father and you need to do it quickly.”

“He never wants to speak with me again,” I argued, knowing my words were futile. The only reason I hadn’t told him already was the conversation was going to be painful—for both of us. And also because I was a coward. Of course I needed to tell Eoin; I just didn’t want to. Not yet, anyhow.

As if reading my mind, Declan added, “The longer you wait, the worse it’s going tobe.”

I sighed and covered my face with my hands. “I know.” I sighed and I dropped them back down into my lap. “I’ll try this weekend.” When they both stared at me with matching looks of skepticism, I felt my face turn red with mortification. “I swear.”

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