Page 77 of Ruck Me

Brienne turned to me, her eyes haunted. “Don’t tell him. He’ll never look at you the same way again.” She laughed, the sound bitter and harsh. “Trust me. Once you tell a guy who supposedly loves you that you’re pregnant, everything changes.”

“Is that what happened toyou?”

She moved from my side and leaned forward to stare at herself in the mirror. “Something like that,” she said, swiping a finger over her perfectly groomed brows. “My ex said he loved me and would stand by me, but two months later I found out he was fucking one of my friends because I was, quote, damaged goods.”

“What a fucker,” I answered, keeping a lid on the other things I wanted tosay.

I didn’t think her asshole ex-boyfriend had sex with someone else because she’d gotten pregnant after having been raped. He sounded like a real fucker. No one who had half an ounce of compassion would turn around and do something like that to someone they supposedly loved, especially after that person had just endured what Briennehad.

I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Eoin wasn’t that type of guy. When—if—I told him I was pregnant, he’d probably be angry and confused, but Eoin would never do to me what he’d done toher.

At least I didn’t thinkso.

“I should never have told him,” she said, walking out of the bathroom and dropping into a pink velvet chair in the corner of my bedroom.

“How would that have even worked?” I asked, following her into the otherroom.

Because if I was honestly considering getting an abortion without telling Eoin, I needed aplan.

“Is there someone you trust? Another woman?”

I nodded immediately. I knew if I asked Tanya to go to London with me, she’d drop everything. She might pretend to be a flighty bird, but I knew her better than that. She was as trustworthy as theycame.

“Tell yer man you’re going on a girls trip; four days should cover it. You can fly over in the morning and have the procedure in the late afternoon. That’ll give you a couple of days to recover before you come home. He can’t see you limping around or wincing or you’ll give it away. It’s best to pretend you’re seeing some shows or something to carve out some uninterruptedtime.”

As she spoke, I imagined how I’d pull it off: the fake Instagram photos Tanya would need to post for me; details on the shows we'd supposedly seen; and, the faux enthusiasm I’d need to muster for it all once we returned. The more I considered it, the more I was certain it wouldfail.

“I don’t think I can pull it off,” I said, dropping onto my bed, my pillow hugged to my chest. “I should just tellEoin.”

Brienne was silent for several moments before she finally spoke. “Maybe Eoin’s not like Thorne and everything will be okay. Who knows,” she continued, her voice falsely bright, “maybe he’ll even be happy about thebaby.”

I dropped my face to the side and stared at her. “You and I both know that’s a crock of shite.”

Her face fell. “Yeah, but it was worth atry.”

“Thanks,” I responded mirthlessly. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me today.”

She stood, draped her purse across her body, and walked to the edge of my bed. “You’re welcome.” After a short pause, she added, “I know we just met a couple of months ago, but I don’t have many girlfriends and you seem like good people. No matter what happens, I’m here foryou.”

“Thanks, Brienne. You’re good people, too.”

She squeezed my hand and then let herself out as I broke down in tears once again.

* * *

“And then Coach Andrews called me into Coach McCarthy’s office and told me to clear my schedule for June and July because I’m going on the summertour!”

“That’s fantastic!” I cheered, taking in Eoin’s features, pride radiating off him in waves. I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen his eyes this bright withjoy.

I was thrilled for him—I really was—but I couldn’t help feeling a bit sad for myself at the same time. Here he was living out his boyhood dream to play rugby for his country while I was silently living my personal nightmare.

“This is one of the best fucking days of my life. Everything I’ve ever worked for is payingoff.”

“I’m so proud of you,” I said, hugging him tightly. “You’re made for greatness, Eoin McGrath.”

He wrapped his strong arms around me and squeezed. “I was made for you, Aoife O’Shaughnessy,” he said, dropping a kiss on the top of my head as the TV flickered in the background.

Snuggling into his chest, I took a couple of deep breaths and tried to keep my ragged emotions at bay. I’d never been an overly emotional person, but multiple times a day I found myself tearing up for no reason at all. I’d done a good job keeping my waterworks from Eoin, but I’d caught both Ainsley and Clodagh staring at me with speculative looks on their faces. Neither had said a word about my crying jags, but I was pretty sure they’d heard me throwing up and had put two and two together. They weren’t stupid, afterall.

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