Page 108 of Ruck Me

I slid my hand away and shifted so I could better see her face. “We’re having a boy,” I mused.

Obviously, there’d been a 50/50 chance either way, but knowing that my son was growing safe and sound inside her belly? That brought things home in a way nothing else before had. My eyes flicked to her stomach and then back to her face, and before I knew what I was doing, I leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Aoife’s lips. When she didn’t return the gesture, I pulled away and slid my hands from her cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I don’t know why I did that. I’m not thinking straight.”

That was the understatement of the century.

“It’s okay,” she said, her eyes flicking between mine, searching.

I wondered what she saw, but before I could ask, her face went blank and the moment passed.

For as long as I’d known Aoife, I’d always been able to read her. But this face, the mask she wore now? It was a complete hole of nothingness, and I hated it. Hated that she had to wear it when I was near. Loathed that I was one of the reasons she’d had to adopt the facade.

“Aoife, look at me.” When she didn’t, I tossed my pride aside and begged. “Please baby, look at me. I need to see youreyes.”

Finally, she turned to me and what I saw tore at my soul. She’d dropped the mask and stared back at me a heartache so immense and powerful that it was permanently etched on her skin. And I’d done that toher.

“Oh baby,” I said, pulling her into my arms, my own eyes filling with tears. “I’m so fucking sorry,” I continued, my heart breaking right along with hers. “I never meant to hurt you. I love you so fucking much, Aoife. So fucking much,” I sobbed as she wrapped her arms around my waist and we held each other tight, our tears mingling.

For the rest of the night we held onto each another, our eyes red and swollen and our throats ragged from whispered promises and declarations. When I woke up before dawn, our limbs tangled together on top of her sheets, I laid there, marveling at the twists and turns my life had taken.

I was 22 years old, and I was going to be a father. But more than that, I was going to be a husband too. Aoife just didn’t know ityet.

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