I pressed forward, urging her to use the gun. “I’m not afraid to die Arabella, not anymore. So if you’re going to kill me, you better fucking do it now.”
When her eyes flicked from my damaged torso back to my face, they were filled with tears of anguish and I felt my heart constrict. I’d never been able to handle her tears, and as hardened as I was, the sight of them still brought out my protective instincts. As much as I hated her, I couldn’t deny how forcefully I wanted to gather her in my arms and comfort her. She was ripping me apart and all I wanted to do was make her feel better, take away all her pain and make it my own. That’s how it’d always been between us, from the very first moment we’d met.
That was why, I reminded myself, I couldn’t do what Jayce wanted … no matter what Arabella had become. Who she’d become.
Slowly, almost in slow motion, she dragged the cold steel away from my body and let her hand fall to her side, the barrel pointed toward the ground.
“Wh … what happened?” she asked on a strangled whisper as her other hand ghosted forward as if to touch me. Catching herself mid-motion, her lips pressed into a grim line and she dropped her hand to rest on her thigh.
“Motorcycle accident.”
“But you said …” her voice trailed off.
She didn’t need to finish her question. I knew exactly what she meant. A motorcycle accident didn’t exactly sound like a suicide attempt.
“The first time, my buddy Donovan found me and called 911. The next time—” I scratched the back of my neck self-consciously. I didn’t like talking about the decisions I’d made and the things I’d done, but I knew I had to finish sharing my story. “Let’s just say when I went out riding that night, I was prepared to die.”
This time when Arabella raised her hand, she didn’t stop herself from touching me. Resting her fingers lightly—tentatively—against my forearm, she stared up at me with sorrow. “But you survived.”
“But I survived,” I concurred and looked away. “It seems I’m a hard man to kill.”
Pulling her hand away, she wrapped her arms around her center and turned to look out over the barren landscape. “What a fine pair we make,” she muttered.
“Yeah,” I agreed with a sardonic huff.
We were pretty much both truly fucked in the head. I’d always been that way, but Arabella hadn’t. Once upon a time, she’d been good. Sweet. Lovely. I worried her association with me had broken her. That the things she’d suffered had been because she’d fallen in love with me. That the cold-blooded woman she’d become was on my head.
“What did you want to tell me?” she eventually asked, breaking into my thoughts. “I assume you didn’t get in touch after all these years just to show me your scars.”
The steel was back in her voice and I knew she’d packed away her vulnerability. She was done re-living the past, finished discussing all the ways we’d hurt one another. We were back to business.
“Jayce wants you dead.”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” she scoffed.
I studied her for a moment before responding, trying to find a glimpse of the girl she’d once been. If I was going to go against my family, if I was going to take down my brother, I had to know traces of the Arabella I once knew still existed somewhere deep inside of her.
When she dragged her gaze back to me, I continued. “I think he knows about us.”
“There is no us,” she reminded me.
As if I needed it.
“Fine. I think he knows about the past.”
“That shouldn’t matter now.”
“But it does though,” I replied.
“How so?”
“Because I’m the one who’s supposed to kill you.”
She laughed then. Honest to God laughed. “Of course you are. He really hates you, doesn’t he?”
I shrugged. “It is what it is. I’m used to it by now.”
“So now what? You’re supposed to put a bullet in my head? That’s your m-o, right? I’ve seen enough of my father’s men to know your trademark style. They might call you The Enforcer in your family but in mine, you’re The Executioner.”