Page 33 of Becoming Ben

“Holy fuck,” Ben breathes, and it’s one of the sexiest things I have ever heard…

I’m going to make him do thatsomany more times.

23

Ben

Trey’s weight on me feels incredible. He’s solid and warm, and I grind up to feel him more acutely. I have learned that I like the feeling of being mildly restrained, though he’s not doing that intentionally. It feels grounding and safe, and when he bites my neck, it sends sparkles of pleasure through me.

I grind up again, he grinds down, lining up our dicks, and we frot through our clothes for a minute while we kiss. He said he was going to give me a few more things to add to the list of things I love about him, and while I’m not sure what they might be, I’m sure he’ll be able to do it. I haven’t found anything yet that I don’t like with him.

He trails soft bites and sucking kisses down my neck, makes quick work of the buttons on my shirt, and continues the trail down my chest. He follows the curve of my pec, and I know he’s heading for my nipple. I am torn between wanting him to reach itnowand enjoying the anticipation. Trey turns anticipation into an art form.

Trey doesn't complete the circuit to my nipple on my left side. Instead, he switches and follows a similar path from my neck – and oh god, I love that sharp little nip he places in exactly the right spot on that side, too – to my chest and, this time, mercifully, to my nipple. I never paid any attention to them before Trey, but apparently, I’ve been missing out all these years because a flick of his tongue and then a firm pull of suction has me arching up into the sensations with a rough moan.

“God, I love that noise,” Trey growls, and the sound sends a shiver down my spine. “I want to make you make that noise a hundred times a day.”

“A hundred times a day?” I ask, my voice far breathier than it had been earlier. “That might take some work.” He sucks on my other nipple, adding a flicking tongue that makes my breath catch in my chest. “Baby, you know how good my work ethic is,” he says.

“Holy fuck,” I moan. “Jesus Christ, Trey, you say things like that, and I get ideas. Amazing, filthy ideas.”

He grins. “Yeah? I want to hear every single one as soon as I’m finished with you.”

I nod. “I’ll tell you all of them–” I begin, but then every single thought leaves my head as he flicks open my jeans and pulls me out of them.

“Later,” Trey says with a hint of command as he strokes me. I nod, eyes closing in bliss. His hands are magic, they’re fucking magic, and I can’t resist them. He jacks me just this side of too light, a tease that burns through me, and I whine. I’m just getting ready to flip up over and tease him when he pulls my jeans off, leans down, and sucks me into his mouth. He bobs and sucks with the same too-light pressure, holding my hips to the bed, and holy fucking shit, if that doesn’t make it even better.

“Turn over,” he says when he has teased me so much I’m shaking. I obey like a newborn foal, all uncooperative, clumsy limbs. I would be embarrassed if I weren’t so aroused. I give a gasping laugh when I feel him grab my hips and boost my ass in the air. He swats me lightly with a laugh of his own, and I drop my head with pleasure.

I feel the bed shift as he reaches for the supplies in the bedside drawer. Trey kisses my lower back, pushing my shirt out of the way. It is only then that I realize I am still half-dressed, and the absurdity of it strikes me as funny.

“Why are you laughing now?” Trey asks. I look over my shoulder at him, and he’s on his knees with the lube in one hand, about to pop the top with the other.

He is also still fully dressed in black pants and a white button-down shirt with the top button undone. That, combined with the puzzled expression on his face, makes me laugh harder.

“Ben…?” Trey asks, his dark brows pulling together with concern.

“You’re still dressed,” I manage, putting my head on my forearms. “And I’m still half dressed, and we’re –” I dissolve again, the absurdity bringing a fresh spate of laughter – until suddenly my throat burns, and the tears in my eyes sting sharper. The rollercoaster of the day catches up with me, and I am drawing breath on a ragged sob.

“Oh, Ben,” I hear Trey say, and I am being folded into a hug. He pulls me over onto my side and pulls me into him, holding me tightly. One of my arms is trapped between us, but I wrap the other around him and burrow into him. He holds me to him with one arm and uses the other to stroke my back soothingly while his deep voice murmurs quietly in my ear.

I give myself up to all of it, letting the emotions pour through and out of me as he croons comfort and reassurances. After a little while, the storm inside me calms, and I pull back to grab a couple of tissues from the bedside table. I blow my nose, clean up my face, and then roll back to face him. “I’m sorry,” I say quietly, embarrassment stealing through me now that I’ve calmed down.

“It’s okay. I’m really sorry I hurt you, and I’m glad you let it out. Everything that gets stuffed down winds up demanding attention eventually, anyway. I want to be your safe space.”

I smile and bury my face in his chest. “You’re going to be an excellent therapist, you know,” I say. “And I know you’re right, but it is a little bit of a mood killer, don’t you think?”

Trey shrugs. “We can reclaim the mood, baby,” he says and kisses me. I melt, and very soon, I feel myself hardening against him again. When we both need to breathe, he rolls away long enough to strip, winking at me when he sees me watching him avidly.

I hurry to finish taking my clothes off, but he’s fast enough that he’s there to help with my underwear. “Let’s try this again,” I say, and this time, he holds me close to him, my thigh hiked over his hip as he prepares me with his fingers. He covers my body with his and pushes into me when I’m ready, kissing me and whispering loving words. He calls me baby and his sweet thing as he makes love to me, and the words pour pleasure down my spine like warmed honey.

Afterward, he spoons me against him and strokes my belly as we relax. “I love you,” I say because saying it feels so damn good. “I’ve never loved someone like this. It’s terrifying but intoxicating.”

“I know what you mean,” Trey says quietly. “It’s so big and so good, but that means there’s so much potential to get hurt.”

“I’ll never purposefully hurt you, Trey,” I say softly. “If I do it by accident, please tell me so I can fix it. I want to make you happy. I want you to stay here with me while you get your degree and afterward when you are working as a psychiatrist. I want to help you make your dreams come true.”

Trey is quiet for a long moment. I don’t think I’ve said anything wrong, but I’m beginning to worry by the time I hear him release a hitching breath. I turn quickly in his arms, only to see his beautiful dark eyes swimming with tears. “Trey?” I ask, cradling his cheek. “What did I say? What can I do to fix it?”

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