Page 32 of Becoming Ben

“Trey,” Ben says, his attention riveted on my face. “Can you tell me what I did wrong? What I said wrong? I just– I was waiting for you to get home, and then you were slamming the door and leaving with a packed bag.”

“I didn’t mean to slam the door,” I say because I’m not sure where else to start. I hear Mandy huff next to me and resist the urge to make a face at her.

“But why did you leave?” Ben asks me, his tone plaintive. “You said that I don’t deserve this. What don’t I deserve, Trey? Waking up with someone who makes me feel like I’m important? Having a partner that makes me feel more alive than I ever have in my life?”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” I say. “I told you I heard what happened in the meeting with your client. I heard him get angry that you’re into ‘woke shit’ or whatever it was he was going on about. I assume you told him you had a boyfriend, and he got angry. Lots of people get angry about exactly what you’re asking for, and I don’t– I love you too much to want to put you through that.”

Ben stares at me wide-eyed for a moment, then starts to shake his head. His cheeks flush, and I realize this is the first time I’ve seen him angry. “Trey, that is the biggest pile of bullshit I’ve ever heard, and considering the conversations I’ve had today, that’s saying something.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Mandy’s jaw drop. Apparently, this is a new side of Ben for her too.

“Did you hearmypart of the meeting today? Or did you run out too fast?” He is talking withhisbody now, too, arms in the air, gesturing dramatically. “I told him where to shove his job, and I told him where to shove his homophobic, bigoted, misogynistic shit, and then I hung up on him. Even if Iweren’t in lovewith a man, I don’t want to work with someone like that as closely as I work with my clients. And if people are assholes to me now and again because I’m with you, I’m okay with that. They’re not important; we are. And I just admitted that I’m in love with you, and it’s in a fight in our yard while my daughter looks at me like I’ve grown a second head, dammit.” He stops, breathing hard, and as the three of us stand frozen in the sudden silence, Ben’s breath catches with a soft, ragged sound, and whatever resolve I have left crumbles.

The next moment I’m holding him as he buries his face in my shirtfront. “I’m sorry,” I say quietly, my lips next to his ear. “I’m sorry I ran away. I’m sorry I didn’t give you a choice.”

He squeezes me hard, and I return it, and then he lifts his head, and our lips meet in a light kiss.

“Whoo!!!!” Mandy cheers, her fist-pumping cheer sending the dogs into a flurry of excited pup-yipping, too.

Ben and I chuckle, though I do not release him.

“All right, well, I’m heading out before this gets R-rated,” Mandy says. “You might wanna text Holden that you’re not handcuffed in a basement, and I’ll take you to get your car in the morning. I’m going to assume you’re going to be busy with other things tonight.” She blows a kiss at us, hops into her car, and powers down the driveway.

Ben looks at me and tilts his head. “Cuffed in a basement?”

I throw my head back and laugh. “I was at my friend Holden’s apartment. He was a little concerned about how forcefully Mandy scooped me up to bring me back here to you. He told me to text if I needed him to call the cops.”

Ben stares as he processes all that, then begins to honest-to-god giggle. “Please let him know you’re okay…” He nibbles his lip. “Although… would you ever wanna try cuffs?”

I grin and kiss him. “I’ll try whatever you want, baby.”

***

In the hours since I left, Ben had cooked dinner, though he hadn’t eaten. I notice there are two portions. “Were you sure Mandy would get me back here?” I ask lightly.

Ben shrugs. “I don’t know, but I’ve been making dinner for two for a couple of months, and I did it without thinking. I actually realized after it was already cooking, and it made me sad that you wouldn’t be here to eat it.”

I corner him against the counter and kiss him until I feel him harden against my hip. “I’m not going anywhere now. I’m sorry I was an idiot.”

Ben looks a little feral when I release him, and his hands wander down to my ass as he nuzzles into my neck. “You’re not an idiot,” he says belatedly, and I smile at how easy it is to steal his train of thought. I’m contemplating hoisting him up onto the counter to kiss him again when I hear him speak quietly.

“You really love me?” Ben asks softly against my neck. I almost don’t hear him clearly enough, but I put it together and tighten my arms around him.

“I really do…” I say. “I love you, Ben Johnson. I love how curious and tender and fun-loving you are. I love how you genuinely love your ex-wife and her new husband. I love how you love it when I tell you’re so good–” Ben moans softly, and I chuckle. “--I love how you uprooted your whole life to move to Colorado so you could support Mandy attending the school she wanted. I just– There are so many things about you to love, and I keep finding more.” I tilt his face up and kiss him softly, lingeringly, and then smile into his eyes. “You’re everything I never knew I wanted.”

Ben groans and clutches me, and I give up on the idea of eating the dinner Ben made. It just doesn’t seem important now. I lead Ben to his bedroom, our fingers entwined, and push him down onto the bed before I cover his body with mine, kissing him as his hands roam over my back.

“I love you,” Ben says when I leave off his mouth in favor of nipping the place on his neck that always makes his dick twitch. “I love you,” he repeats, a hitch in the middle of the words when I catch his skin between my teeth. “I love– Oh fuck yesss…”

“You love me, but I’m distracting you?” I ask with gentle amusement.

“Yes, you are,” Ben hisses as I attack that patch of skin again.

I lift my head and smile into his eyes. “Go on,” I say.

Ben smacks my ass lightly and laughs. “I didn’t mean stop,” he says, grinding up against me.

“Hm? Maybe I wanted to hear the list? Or should I work on adding a few more things to it first?” I lower my head and nip the same spot on the other side of his neck, and he moans. “Mmhmm, that’s what I thought,” I purr. “My good boy.”

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