Page 13 of Hearing Hank

I didn’t realize this was Lee’s mom’s house, and I wasn’t in any way prepared to meet his family. Nerves shut my throat tight, so I nod to Jackie and stick out my hand. I give Lee a sort of desperate look, but he understands perfectly what I’m not saying.

“Hank doesn’t talk much, Mom, don’t take it personally. It’s a medical thing.”

“Well, that’s perfect then isn’t it?” says Jackie as she ignores my outstretched hand and gives me a warm mom hug. “You never stop talking, so you two ought to be perfect together.”

She snorts out a laugh as she turns back into the house, and Lee laughs with her. “I just need you to reach something for me and then you can go back to whatever you were doing.” She winks over her shoulder at me when she says it, and many of the nerves evaporate.

“Paul has had dinner here a ton of times, so I told Mom I’d stay,” Lee whispers to me on his way to the kitchen. “We can totally do something else though, I didn’t mean to throw you into the deep end.”

With the offer of an out, most of the rest of my nervousness dissipates, and I manage to whisper back to him, “I’m okay.”

The smile he flashes me is brilliant, and I’m looking forward to the rest of the night.

16

Lee

Thatwasaplottwist. I swear Paul said he was all caught up on classwork yesterday. I’m not going to question it though, I’m too happy to see Hank. When he whispered in my ear on the front porch I thought my legs were going to collapse, and I’m surprised how good I feel about him hanging out at my mom’s house with my family. I trust him, in a way that I don’t remember ever trusting someone I’ve only had one date with. With my last serious boyfriend, I waited at least six months before bringing him around for dinner, and I was uncomfortable the whole time.

As I watch Hank interact with my mom, my siblings, and their children, I’m impressed by how well they take to him, and he to them. My mom manages to spread the word that he’s not comfortable talking as additional family members have shown up, and everyone has adjusted fairly easily. I can tell by watching Hank that his anxiety level is actually not too high, and it seems like he’s truly enjoying himself.

“Okay, I’ve got to ask,” my brother says as he shoulder bumps me. “Where did you find him? He’s so different from the guys I usually see you with, in the best way. He seems real and genuine, and like he’s not all about himself.”

“He runs the ranch where Paul is getting married,” I tell him. “I feel a little crazy, getting so into someone so fast, but he really is a great guy, and maybe someone different is exactly what I need.”

“Well, I like him,” my brother tells me. “Now just don’t fuck it up.” He grins.

Dinner is great, of course. I’m always impressed that my mom manages to be such a kick-ass businesswoman, a great cook, and the best parent. She’s pretty amazing. Pretty much as soon as we’re done eating though, I say our goodbyes and drag Hank out to my car.

“I was going to take Paul to my favorite club with me, and I texted our friends to meet us there,” I tell him, holding his hand as we walk to the car. “Do you want to go, or should I let them know plans have changed? It will be fun, but if you’ve had enough of being around people you don’t know, I’m sure we can find other things to do.” I wiggle my eyebrows at him suggestively. “Also I made sure it was okay with my mom if we leave the truck in the driveway here until tomorrow. I don’t have parking for it at my apartment.”

Hank smiles at me. “I like clubs, and I’d like to see your favorite. That sort of thing doesn’t make me as anxious as a bunch of people that I know.” He shrugs, and I get it. The things that freak us out don’t always make logical sense.

“Let’s not stay all night though,” Hank says. “I can think of other things I want to do too.” He wiggles his eyebrows back at me when he says “other things” and I laugh out loud.

It’s still pretty early for club life, but as my friends and I have gotten older, we’ve turned into the early birds of the club scene. In by eight or nine and out around ten or eleven, unless it’s some sort of special occasion. Even though it’s early, it’s still pretty loud, so after I tell my friend group Hank’s name, no one really notices that he doesn’t talk. We all get drinks. I have plans for later, so I stick to a weak gin and tonic. I’m not sure why, but I didn’t expect Hank to be able or willing to dance, so I am thrilled when he takes my hand and leads me out on the dance floor.

Dancing with Hank makes me feel safe and free simultaneously. He’s actually a really great dancer, and I have the best time. We keep it pretty PG, but there’s absolutely no room between us. It’s not very long at all before I have a hard-on that’s making things uncomfortable. The way we’re dancing I can feel Hank has one too. I’m more than ready when he leans down and says so only I can hear him, “Can we please go have sex now?” He draws out the please like a kid begging for candy, and I laugh out loud.

I take his hand and we head for the door, only pausing long enough to tell my friends goodbye. We get some good-natured teasing about not having any stamina and being old, but I’m in too much of a hurry to tell them that it’s the opposite.

When we get to my apartment I barely get the door closed behind me before Hank has me up against it devouring my mouth and pulling me against him. I get lost in the amazing feeling of his mouth on mine, running my hand up inside his shirt and over his chest, reveling in how good his skin feels. When the friction of our dueling erections starts to feel too good, I rip my mouth away from his and put an air gap between us.

“Oh no,” I tell him breathlessly. “We’re not finishing at the front door again. I want you in my bed and naked.”

“Lead the way,” he pants back. I take a lot of satisfaction in seeing that he’s as turned on and desperate as I am.

17

Hank

Evenasexcitedandincredibly turned on as I am, the time it takes for me to follow Lee back to his bedroom gets me nervous. I’m hoping this is about to be farther than I’ve ever gone with someone, and it’s not like I don’t understand the mechanics, but I’m still nervous. His whole apartment is colorful and decorated with quirky and unexpected things. It really feels likehim, and that makes me feel better. His bedroom is bright, with red curtains over the window, a fluffy black comforter, and several very soft-looking throws in jewel tones that somehow don’t clash with the mountain of pillows on the king-size bed. Each pillow, from what I can tell, is both a different color and a different pattern.

Lee stops at the foot of the bed and turns to look at me with a suddenly serious face. “Okay, real talk for a second,” he says. “I’m negative and on PrEP, but I’m fine with condoms too. You?”

If anything was going to make me anxious you’d think it would be this, but surprisingly, this is something I can do. “Also negative and on PrEP too. I’m fine with or without condoms,” I pause for a second and add, “I think.” I could probably come right out and tell him I’ve never done this before but adding the “I think” does the trick.

“So no penetrative sex? How about oral?” Lee asks. I don’t see any sign of judgment on his face. In fact, if I had to guess, I would say he’s excited about the idea.

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