Page 33 of Protecting Paul

“Let me worry about you a little,” I chide, smiling fully. My busted lip still aches, but I can’t help smiling at Sam's sweetness. He runs his eyes up and down my bruises. When he gets to my lip, he slows down. His eyes are laser-focused on my lips.

“If you want to kiss my busted lip, you can just say so,” I tease. He looks down and flushes like an embarrassed child.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare like that,” he mumbles. He looks up at me and for a second, I think he’s going to kiss, but he doesn’t. He reaches over and hands me the clothes beside me. “Here. I’ll be right back.”

He runs off to the bathroom. I sit there for a moment, confused. I slip the shirt he gave me on. I should address my behavior last night. We haven’t talked about it, and I have an inkling it’s messing with Sam’s head.

He returns from the bathroom, and his hair is mussed up. I imagine him standing in there, nervously running a hand through it and overthinking things. It makes me feel guilty.

“Hey, Sammy?” I ask softly, gesturing for him to sit next to me. “I want to talk about last night.”

“You don’t have to.” Sam shakes his head and tenses up. “We’ve had a rough day. We can talk about it tomorrow.”

“No, we need to talk about it tonight. I can tell it’s bothering you, and I can’t keep seeing that puppy dog face you make.” He looks up at me in surprise when I say that. Knowing him, he probably thought he was hiding it. “You wear your emotions on your face.”

“I’m not a good liar. Guess that’s why,” Sam laughs a little, but it seems uncomfortable. “Um, what did you want to say?”

“I acted like an asshole. I’m sorry. Everything I said was stupid. I didn’t mean any of it.” The words tumble past my lips once I start. I have so much I need to say to him. “Did I mention I’m sorry? Because I’m really sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too.” He looks at me with a furrowed brow. “I should have never let you go. I should’ve followed you or tried harder to get you to stay. I said I would always be there for you, and when you really needed me, I wasn’t.”

“Sammy, come on.” I can’t believe he somehow manages to blame himself for my mistakes. It’s totally something he’d do, but it makes me feel more guilt than before. “You tried to stop me, and I didn’t let you. You saved my life today. When Ireallyneeded you, you were there today.”

He opens his mouth to say something but shuts it quickly. He’s intensely pondering his next words. I can’t stand to look at him like that any longer. I lean in and kiss him. He relaxes, wrapping an arm around me.

I bring my hand up, cupping Sam’s cheek gently. If my words can’t get through to him, I’ll pour everything I have into this kiss. We break apart, both of us breathing deeply.

“I was going to ask if you wanted me to sleep on the couch tonight, but….”

I cut him off, kissing him again. He hums against my lips, tickling me softly.

“I don’t want that,” I whisper against his lips. Our breaths mingle together for a moment before I pull away. “I sleep better when you’re next to me.”

“Me too,” Sam agrees. My heart lurches, and my stomach fills with butterflies. I crawl over to the other side of his bed. Somehow we’ve fallen into enough of a routine that I’ve claimed this side.

Sam stands up and turns off the light before sliding under the blanket beside me. He pulls me into his arms more gently than usual. I wrap my arms around him and nuzzle into his neck. I press a kiss against his neck.

“Hey, Sammy?” I whisper. He quietly hums in acknowledgment. “You could never be a burden to me. I should have said that last night.”

“It was a silly thing to say anyway,” Sam says. As always, he’s trying to take some of the blame off of me. “But it’s nice to hear that. I just want to make you happy and stop accidentally upsetting you.”

“Every time I got upset, it was an overreaction. Stop blaming yourself, okay?” I look at him, scooting up so I can reach his face. I kiss his cheek. “You have no idea how happy you make me. I’m just an unappreciative asshole.”

“No, you were just scared, and I get that,” Sam assures. He leans down and kisses me properly. It breaks the tension between us. I let out an embarrassing noise before I could help it. Sam doesn’t care, though.

I run a hand through his hair, the silky strands caressing my fingers. His tongue swipes my lower lip, and I open my mouth. Our tongues mingle. We fall into a natural rhythm. When we pull apart, we’re both panting. Our chests heave against each other.

“You wouldn’t kiss me like that if you were an asshole,” Sam beams, kissing me on the forehead. “I like you just how you are.”

“You’re so cheesy,” I grumble playfully and bury my face in his neck again. “I can’t believe how much it works on me.”

“I guess I’m just a charmer,” Sam teases. He yawns, settling his head atop mine. “Get some sleep. You can tease me in the morning.”

“Good night, Sammy,” I whisper and close my eyes. I fall asleep immediately, the exhaustion from the day hitting me hard. My last thought is wishing I could stay in Sam’s arms forever.”

19

Sam

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