Page 29 of Protecting Paul

“Somewhere,” Jerry laughs coldly. It sends shivers down my spine. “Somewhere where your little boyfriend can’t even help you. At least, not until it’s way too late.”

I sit up straight, ignoring the pain the movement caused. I glance out the window and see nothing but an endless road. He’s right. I have no fucking clue where we are or where we’re going.

“What’s your plan here, asshole?” I ask. This time, I find more conviction in my voice, but it still comes off weakly. “You going to kill me and bury me out here?”

“Maybe,” He looks back at me through the rearview window and sneers. “Or maybe I’ll just leave you in the middle of nowhere to die alone. We’ll see how pissed off you make me.”

“How the hell do you plan to get away with this?” I feel like I have nothing to lose anyway. “You can’t go back to Shafter Falls if you do anything to me, and then what? Wasn’t this all about me taking the house? It makes no sense.”

“I can’t go back there anyway,” he snaps, glaring at me as if it’s my fault. “You fucked that up for me. This isn’t some brilliant plan to take back the house that shouldn’t be yours anyway. This is revenge, you faggot, pure revenge.”

“I haven’t done anything to warrant revenge!” My voice raises, and I cough as it burns my dry throat. I know I’m essentially speaking to a brick wall here, but I can’t help but argue with him. Also, I have nothing else to lose. “You started this, Jerry. All I did was try to live my fucking life.”

“Your life is a joke,” Jerry laughs as if it’s the funniest joke he’s ever heard. It doesn’t take much to amuse such a simple mind. “Your life is an abomination. It’s disgusting. Your father would’ve hated it if you got that house and his money. Maybe this isn’t revenge. It’sjustice.”

“Justice?” I echo. I sink back against the seat, not strong enough to sit up straight anymore. The pain is enough to blur my vision. If I let myself, I could easily pass out again. “Jerry, this may be hard for you, but try to think logically here.”

“You’re in no position to take jabs at me,” Jerry laughs that cold laugh again. It makes me shiver every time. “Even if you could, you can’t fight back in that state. Fruity guys like you can’t fight to begin with.”

“Sam can,” I mumble, closing my eyes and thinking of Sam. My heart aches as I do. If he’s realized what’s happening, he’s losing his mind right now. As shitty as I was to him, I know he’ll do anything to find me. I shouldn’t have left his place. He would’ve protected me.

“No use thinking of your boyfriend now,” he scoffs. I shut my eyes tighter. “They’ve got nothing to go on. I made sure of that. He can flaunt that he’s a cop as much as he wants, but it ain’t no use.”

“You’re wrong,” I say. I open my eyes, practically spitting the words out. “If anyone is going to save me, it’ll be Sam. I have faith in him.”

Jerry breaks out into laughter. I see his head tilt back against the seat as he guffaws. It fills me with rage. He doesn’t know anything about Sam. Him even mentioning Sam makes me want to kill him. Sam is the best guy there ever was, and Jerry is the fucking worst.

“That’s rich.” He dramatically wipes his eyes after he finishes laughing. It annoys me to my core. “How the hell is he going to find you out here, dumbass? The power of love? Get real.”

It’s sad that it takes me until this moment to admit that I’m in love with Sam. I’ve known it for a long time, but I didn’t let myself think about it. He makes me feel like I’ve never felt before. I’ve been avoiding putting a name to that feeling. With my life on the line, there’s no use denying it any longer. I love him so damn much.

“Is that what it is, Jerry?” I ask. I shouldn’t push him, but I can’t resist the chance. “Are you jealous because no one will ever love your sorry ass?”

Jerry doesn’t know that I broke things off with Sam, which is evident in how he keeps mentioning my “boyfriend.” I remember my dad mentioning Jerry’s previous divorce, which is likely a sore spot. I want to prod that sore spot until he hurts.

“I’d rather stay single forever than do what you faggots do,” Jerry counters, but his tone sounds less sure than before. I can tell I hit a nerve.

“I don’t believe you,” I continue to press. His body language changes at that. He’s growing tense. “I think you’re bitter that your one relationship failed miserably. Did she realize you were a useless piece of shit? Is that why she dumped your sorry ass?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jerry growls. He slams his hand on the steering well, turning his head to glare at me. I see nothing in his dark eyes. They’re like an empty void with no feelings but hatred. “You don’t know anything! Even if that stupid queer cop did find you, he’d dump your sorry ass. Do you actually think a cop in this town would end up withyou? Mark my words. He’ll end up making the smart decision and marry a woman.”

I thought I was the one pushing, but Jerry flips things on me. Somehow he’s tapped into one of my fears. That Sam would have an easier life in this town with a woman rather than me. It’s one of the reasons I’m worried about staying with Sam, even if I’m hopelessly in love with him.

“You don’t have shit to say to that, huh?” Jerry sounds victorious as he asks. “You’re not as dumb as you look. You must know it’s true. You’re nothing but a sad little plaything to him.”

“You’re wrong!” I shout to cut him off. It feels like nails are scraping down my throat, but I don’t care. I can’t let him go on anymore. I can’t let him see I’m on the verge of tears. “He’s not like that. I don’t care who he ends up with. He’s a good guy, and you will never understand that.”

“You’re so delusional,” he snorts again. “All your yelling is giving me a headache. I need a coffee.”

I glance out the window and see a gas station close by. It’s the only building I can see nearby, and I wonder how it even stays in business. I’m jostled around as he veers the car to the side of the road. My shoulder slams into the car door, and I hiss in pain.

“I’d say I’m sorry about that, but I’m not,” Jerry smirks as he hears my noise of pain. “Don’t try anything stupid while I’m in there. You won’t get far.”

I hate to say it, but he’s right. There’s no chance of running away. If I go inside, he’ll quickly silence me. I’m stuck. I sit up and push through the soreness. I have to look around and find something to help. Some sort of weapon, maybe.

I feel like my body is being ripped apart as I move around, but I can’t dwell on it. I drag myself over to the front seat and dig through the center console but find nothing. I manage to reach over to the glove compartment.

“Holy fuck,” I gasp when I spot the contents. My cell phone is sitting in there in plain sight. “Fucking idiot.”

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