Page 23 of Protecting Paul

“You know you don’t have to say that every time you come over, right?” Mark greets as he walks out of the kitchen. I almost pull my hand out of Sam’s, but he doesn’t let me. He holds it tighter. “I’ll be your stepdad pretty soon, so have some respect.”

“Ew, don’t be weird,” Sam groans and rolls his eyes. He lets my hand go to hug Mark, and I stand there awkwardly. Once their hug ends, he grabs my hand again and pulls me close. “Mark, you remember Paul.”

“Yeah, of course.” Mark grins at me. I smile at him, but I can tell it looks forced. “I’m glad you finally came over. Sam can’t shut up about you since you got back to town.”

“Mark!” Sam flushes and punches Mark in the arm. I can’t help but laugh as Mark rubs his arm and glares at Sam.

“Can you two go one visit without punching each other?” Sam’s dad steps out of the kitchen. His eyes settle on me, and he smiles in a way that my dad never did. “Nice to see you, Paul. It’s been a while.”

“Um, yeah,” I reply. “Nice to see you too, Mr. Conroy. Thanks for having me over.”

“You don’t have to be formal. Just call me Wyatt.” He pats me on the arm. “I think I told you this once before, but you’re always welcome here.”

He’s right. After Sam let me sleep over the first time, he said those exact words. I’m surprised he still remembers that.

“Thanks, Wyatt.” It feels weird to call him by his first name, but I guess it makes sense. I’m an adult now, even if I sometimes feel like a teenager regarding Sam. I find my voice and keep talking. “Whatever you’re making for lunch smells delicious.”

“Wyatt’s the best cook.” Mark says and gestures for us to follow him to the kitchen.

We sit at the kitchen table as Wyatt sets plates in front of us. Growing up, I never had family meals like this. It feels nice, almost like I’m making up for missing this childhood experience.

“So, Paul,” Mark says as we dig into the food. “How much longer are you staying in town? Sam said you’re heading back to Colorado after you get everything sorted out.”

“Um, I’m not sure,” I say, looking down at my plate. I see Sam look away out of the corner of my eye. “We’re having some issues with my uncle, so whenever we get that figured out and finish fixing up the house. I guess after that, I’ll head back to Denver.”

I look up, trying to gauge Sam’s reaction to that. He won’t meet my eyes. His body is tense, and he’s stirring his food. I wonder if he’s as conflicted about me leaving as I am. Thankfully, the topic changes quickly. Sam perks up and even smiles at me as soon as we move on.

I feel less awkward the more we chat, and I even manage a few jokes that make everyone laugh. Sam was right to tell me not to worry. I feel comfortable here, like when I found a community in Denver.

As Mark and Sam tease each other, I watch Wyatt stare at them fondly. His expression looks precisely like the way Sam looks at me sometimes. I see the resemblance strongly and where Sam gets his kindness from. I wish things for Sam and I were as simple as they are for Mark and Wyatt.

Before I know it, we've been there for hours. I’ve been having such a good time I didn’t realize it. Wyatt offers to take me on a tour of the ranch. The other times I was here, I only saw the house, so I agree readily.

Sam takes my hand in his as we walk around. I have to admit it’s an impressive ranch. When we get to the horses, a sweet look overtakes Sam.

“This is my horse,” Sam says, gesturing to a beautiful black horse. “Her name is Darcy. Here lemme show you something.”

He grabs something hanging up on the wall and hands it to me. When he sets it in my palm, I realize it’s a brush. He guides my hand and shows me how to brush her mane gently. She makes some noises, and I have no clue what they mean. Sam laughs at the confusion on my face.

“She likes you,” he says softly. He takes the brush from me and guides my hand to her mouth. She nuzzles gently in my palm, and I smile at him so wide my mouth hurts. “She must sense how much I like you.”

“You’re just being nice,” I say, looking away as my cheeks flush. “But she’s cute. I like her too.”

“I’m being honest! She’s usually kind of skittish around strangers, but she warmed up to you immediately. Horses are smarter than you think. She senses that I trust you.”

Oh boy. I’m blushing like mad at that. Butterflies are going crazy in my stomach. I’m glad that Wyatt and Mark are distracted by another one of the horses. It would be embarrassing for them to see me like this.

Sam tells me to wait for a second and runs off. He returns with an apple and hands it to me, urging me to give Darcy a treat. I hold it out in my palm, and she grabs it. I watch her crunch away happily.

“Now you’ve won her over for life.” Sam laughs and takes my hand. “Maybe once your rib is healed, I’ll even teach you how to ride her. I have a feeling you’ve never ridden a horse.”

“Oh, hell no,” I laugh. “But it might be fun to try. As long as you make sure I don’t get bucked off.”

“I promise I’ll keep you safe,” Sam says, lowering his pitch. The way he says it makes me think it has a more profound meaning. I believe him, though. He’s proven time and time again that he will do everything he can to keep me safe.

By the time we get back to his apartment, the sun is setting. We order takeout and talk about the day. I can’t stop thinking about how he said he would keep me safe. He meant it with his whole heart, and that makes me feel deep guilt. How can I say goodbye to Sam after all he’s done for me?

I know it’s inevitable. As much as I care about Sam, I can’t stay here with all the bad memories. Denver was the place for me. It became my home. Even if Sam feels like home right now, Shafter Falls still doesn’t.

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