Page 29 of The Enemy Face Off

7

Beth

I'm scarfing down my salad in the break roomslashstorage spaceslashadmin office at the back of the store.

It's three days before Christmas, and Comfort Bay is a flurry of activity.

Twinkling lights are strung across lampposts and storefronts as shoppers—a mix of locals as well as the usual influx of seasonal tourists—crowd the sidewalks, scurrying about from store to store, carrying shopping bags filled with gifts, local crafts, and holiday treats.

A group of carolers are positioned a few doors down from the bookstore, and their songs filter into the bookstore as people bustle in and out.

We've been doing a brisk trade all week, too, and as if that weren't enough, we've set up a craft activities station for kids, so the store is busyandnoisy.

I take a big bite of my salad and continue what's become my usual lunchtime activity—scrolling through a message thread that started with Milo over two months ago.

Oh, yeah, we've been texting since the day after his house inspection. He got my number off Fraser and messaged the next day.

Because we're neighbors, and it's important to be on good texting terms with your neighbors, right?

The bombshell Milo revealed during his property viewing has been ricocheting in my head ever since he dropped it. It's been hard, almost impossible, not to think about it—and about him—especially since he did buy the house and has moved in next door to me.

Not that I see much of the guy. With the hockey season in full swing, he's barely been home.

I haven't met the kids in person, either, but I have seen photos.Plentyof photos. They're adorable.

Milo has filled me in on some of the details of the situation, revealing he has full custody of Josie and temporary custody of Jonah, and also mentioning that he's on good terms with the kids' grandparents. He hasn't said much beyond that, and I haven't asked for more, even though I'm curious.

How does he feel about becoming an instant father?

What's the story with the kids' mom?

And how on earth is he coping, juggling his hectic pro hockey schedule with the responsibilities of fatherhood?

He has hired a nanny to travel with him and help him out as he plays.

A male nanny.

And yeah, I may or may not have let out a huge sigh of relief when he texted me that.

I'm re-reading the message thread from the very start that began with,Hey neighbor…ish, and includes frequent detours into book recommendations, me teasing him about his man bun, him asking about my day, and of course, a ton of photos of the kids, because I want to be a really good neighbor.

That's all it is.

Really.

Okay, let's say that—hypothetically—I did want something more to develop between us. There is zero chance of it ever happening.

One, Milo is adjusting to fatherhood as a pro athlete. In between training, traveling, and taking care of his kids, he simply doesn't have the time to add a girlfriend into the mix. His focus needs to be on his kids, and I would never want to get in the way of that.

Two, there's the not-so-insignificant matter of being unsure whether we even like each other. Yes, we exchange neighborlytexts, and yes, he told me about the kids before telling anyone else he knew—he released a statement to the media a few weeks later—but so what? That doesn't mean he likes me in that way.

I don't even know if he likes meat all. I don't treat him the way I suspect most other women do. I don't fawn over him. I tease him pretty much all the time. And there's a fine line between bantering with each other and mildly peeving one another off. I'm sure he'll get sick of it—and me—soon enough.

And three, even if Milo were ready to date,andI had written and notarized confirmation that he liked me, there's another not-so-insignificant roadblock in my way—me.

I'm not exactly the easiest person to deal with. I have major trust issues, and even though I may have lost a lot of weight since high school, I still have insecurities about my body. Those feelings didn't just disappear when the weight came off, unfortunately.

I don't know if I'm ready, or even capable, of being emotionally vulnerable in that way with a guy. The two exes who hurt me preyed on my body issues, and I haven't healed from that pain. I've buried it deep down inside, raised my walls, and kept all men at arm's length ever since.

---