Page 10 of Cosmo

Liam swallowed and thought about that statement. He wouldn’t have to worry about snitches. He was going to work a straight job, he was told. Why would he have to worry about snitches?

“Don’t hurt your head worrying over that,” Murphy said, as if reading his mind. “Just know for now, you’re going to have to work on being one of my bartenders. And, oh, I need to tell you, you won’t be called Liam.”

“I won’t?”

“Your new name is Cosmo.”

Barking a laugh, he asked, “Cosmo?”

After a good laugh, Murphy said, “Yeah, like cosmopolitan, the drink. All my bartenders have drink names. It’s good for the pub, and good for you. Helps keep stalkers at bay, for one. If they don’t know your real name, they can’t find you online and stalk you. We had a guy years ago, and he told this one-night stand his name. After my guy didn’t want to see him again, he started getting harassed by his PO, and we found out the guy he dumped was calling in reports. Some people are vicious.”

“Damn. Okay, well, I can’t pick my own?”

“Sorry. It needed to be a red drink, and well, I thought Cosmo fit you.”

Bristling at that, he said, “I’m not some flame boy, flitting around like a fairy.”

Murphy lost his smile, and his fists tightened on the steering wheel. “Keep up that talk and our association is over. We have all kinds of gay men that work at the pub. If one is more feminine than others, he’s as important as anyone else. We respect eachother, Liam. Get that through your head now. There will be no slurs, no racism, internalized homophobia or any other bullshit. I get it, in jail you might have had to set yourself apart from other races and others that are gay and trans, but this isn’t prison, and I won’t have it. You understand?”

For some reason, that particular ass chewing made him feel better instead of worse. “Yeah, yeah, I got it. Sorry. I guess…I guess, yeah, it was prison. I’ve had religious folks around me too, so…it’s…”

“Liam, we have guys that were kicked out of their loving families for being gay. I understand, believe me. My father is less than thrilled his son is, and this is a direct quote, afudge packer. But he’s accepted my husband, even grown quite fond of him and absolutely adores my children, so I’ve vowed to forgive his stupid remarks for his coming much further around than a lot of men his age, his religion and his background. It’s difficult for all of them to change, but if they’re trying, we can try too, right?”

“I guess. I have nothing to do with mine, but it’s not me being gay. He doesn’t know I am.”

Murphy got quiet, like he was waiting for Liam to explain, but Liam refused to explain. He hated his father with a blinding passion.

“Fair enough. Now, we’re getting off on a hundred and fourth up here. About twenty more minutes to the PO, and then we’ll head down to the city after to get you settled. I’ll need a list of things for you, foods you like, clothes size, things like that.”

“Why?”

“We do big shopping trips. We have cards at all those discount bulk places, so we shop for food together, but you can also shop for yourself once you earn a check. Eazy, my husband, he can set you up with a bank account, get you rides to shop for clothes, whatever, until you can get a car,” he said, then stopped and glanced over at him. “I should say, buy a car.”

Liam saw him laughing, and he did too. It was good not to feel horrible guilt, or even pretend to. “I promise, no stealing.”

After Murphy got quiet, Liam thought Murphy didn’t believe him, but he refused to push the matter. He wasn’t going back to prison. He’d made it through without being raped or beaten, and he wanted that record to stand.

Not that men hadn’t tried. Liam had had to fight a lot, but he’d fought most of his life. He knew how strong he was, how to throw a punch, and how to use his entire body to keep attacks at bay.

“Here we are,” Murphy finally said as he drove into a parking lot next to a three-story brick building that loomed over him, creeping into his mind as a scary place where one wrong word would send him back to prison. “Listen, I know your PO. He was the same one that a couple of my guys had. He’s not a bad guy. He doesn’t want to throw anyone back in jail. In fact, he sees his job as the opposite, to keep you out of there.”

What struck him first was relief, then suspicion grew through that, blooming like a daisy through a block of concrete. “How do you know who my PO is?”

“I know a lot more than you might think, and don’t know half as much as I should.”

The best kind of cryptic bullshit. Connor Murphy swam in that.

The meeting went well enough. He was given a list of dos and don’ts, told when he had to check in, which wasn’t as often as he thought. Once a month, and if he had to work, work came first, so they’d do a Skype session or FaceTime.

He also said that every one of the guys that worked for Murphy stayed out of jail. That was good news, but Liam was still suspicious.

Driving after the meeting, he was more relaxed, and he could take in the city better. It had changed little in the five years he’dbeen inside. A few more apartment buildings, some new stores, the cars were much the same on the freeways.

Elitches was still there, Bronco Stadium was too, though he never did remember the real name of the place, named for whatever corporation owned it at that point in time.

“You miss it?”

Liam nodded a little. “I did, yeah. As much as anyone could miss a city.”

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