Page 55 of Last Resort

Maci felt the pinprick of tears at the back of her lids. That was her baby’s heartbeat. Chance’s baby. As if she’d called to him, he reached for her hand, squeezing her fingers lightly. She looked up and saw the faintest sheen of moisture in his eyes too.

They watched the wiggling bean on the screen until it was over, and the tech handed them page after page of sonograms. The tech explained that the doctor would answer all their questions, including the gender if they wanted to know, and then left with as big a smile as she’d had when she came in.

“Alright, Ms. Ford. It seems like you’re doing great!” Dr. Harris was also full of smiles when he entered. “You and baby both look healthy.”

“So, the all-day puking she has sometimes is normal?” Chance asked.

Dr. Harris laughed and kept his eyes on Maci. “Yep. Morning sickness is a terrible name considering it has no internal clock, but it’s completely normal. You haven’t lost a lot of weight, so I’m not worried about it. Just keep doing what you can to take care of yourself. That part should be over soon.”

“Thank goodness.” Maci grinned. “I won’t miss it at all.”

Dr. Harris continued to go over test results from both today and ones that had been run at the hospital. He reassured Maci and Chance that the baby was fine. No damage had come from the attack, and there didn’t seem to be any genetic issues either.

“You elected to get an early gender test. We have the results if you still want to know.”

Maci looked at Chance. He shrugged. “Your choice. I’m good either way.”

She looked back at the doctor. She wanted to know. “Tell us.”

Dr. Harris smiled. “Congratulations. You’re having a girl.”

A girl. They were having a daughter. Maci couldn’t pull her focus from that thought.

She was bringing a new Ford woman into the world.

The rest of the appointment felt like it moved at lightning speed, with Maci only partially aware of it. Dr. Harris provided suggestions concerning exercise and foods that might help settle her stomach. He answered all the questions Chance had while Maci sat there feeling numb. By the time she refocused on the world around her, Chance was bundling her into the car.

He slid into his seat and just sat there, keys in hand while he stared out the windshield. “We’re having a baby. A girl.Ourgirl.”

There was awe and adoration in Chance’s voice. When she glanced over, his eyes practically twinkled with joy. His smile was about to split his face.

So why did Maci feel the heavy weight of despair in her stomach?

Agirl. She felt stuck on the knowledge that she and Chance were having a daughter. What did Maci know about raising a daughter when Evelyn was supposed to be her example?

Evelyn had been so deep in her own drug addiction, in and out of court-required rehab, that she didn’t have the ability to protect Maci from anything. Then Maci had followed in her footsteps without a care. She’d found peace at the bottom of a pill bottle or heavier drugs.

It didn’t matter that Maci had cleaned herself up, that she’d been sober for years. She was still always only one bad choice away from being back in that pit.

What kind of person brought a baby into the world to have a mother with addiction?

She put her hands on her stomach. Her baby was just one more cog in the chain of messed up Ford women. Maci didn’t know how to break the cycle. She didn’t know how to raise her daughter right. She didn’t know anything about boundaries or parenting. She didn’t know how she’d keep her child safe.

Her daughter was going to pay the price for Maci’s stupidity. The thought made Maci sick.

She’d ruined her baby’s life before she’d even got a chance to live it.

As they neared Chance’s house, panic forced her breaths to come faster. The second he parked, she shot out of the car—she was going to be sick and it had nothing to do with morning sickness.

She couldn’t be near him, couldn’t speak to him. She’d ruined it all.

“Maci?” Chance grabbed her arm to reel her into his body, but she yanked it away.

“I’m going to go to bed.”

“What about dinner? You need to eat.”

The idea of sitting down and facing Chance made Maci’s stomach clench even worse. “I’m not hungry.”

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