Page 85 of Fae Exile

He stared at me before finally smirking. “Old as shit?” But it was a weak attempt at levity. “Look, El, trust me?—”

“Nope. You don’t get to say that to me. Not after what’s happened, not after what you just said.”

His nostrils flared, and he swallowed intently, his throat bobbing. “You think I want to go to her bed when she summons me? You think the mere thought of it doesn’t make my stomach sour and my blood turn to ice? You think I won’t have to picture your face on hers just to get through it?”

“Don’t you dare do that.”

“It’s the only way I’ll be able to do it. Whether it’s her or some of her ladies.”

My blood didn’t turn to ice like he said his would; mineboiled.

He added, “If I don’t perform, then it won’t be good for any of us. You or Larissa.”

“Fuck that. And fuck Larissa too.” I didn’t really mean it, but I also didn’t care just then.

The moonlit glow of his eyes went out, and a dull, lifeless gray stared back at me. “I have to protect her too. As my mate, you’llalways be more important to me. But there’s no one to defend her now but me. After what happened with Ramana, I can’t...”

I huffed. “You can’t let her down.”

“No, I can’t.” Whatever light remained in his eyes snuffed out entirely. “I’ll have to go. That’s what she meant when she said I have just tonight off.”

I blinked at him repeatedly. I was going to kill the bitch, find the way to revive her putrid ass, just to have the pleasure of killing her all over again. And then I was going to do it again, and again, and again. I was going to murder her once for every one of her unforgivable transgressions.

Rush muttered, “We’ve sacrificed too much to get here. If after everything, after finding out I’ve been”—once more, he glanced up to where the body parts still lingered—“well, you know, I have to take the chance that I can still be crowned prince. I can still save Embermere and the mirror world. I can still save Larissa. And I can still save you, the most valuable person in this entire world.”

When I shook my head and just kept shaking it, he repeated, “It’s just my body.”

“No, Rush,” I snapped. “It’s not just your body. It’s a fucking violation. It’s practically rape. And if you’re going to go climb into her bed, then you’re not going alone. She gets off on being a perverted, lecherous, disgusting woman who preys on everyone’s weaknesses?” I made sure the ear above us heard every one of my condemnations. “And oh, by the way, caring about others shouldn’t be a fucking weakness. She wants to be depraved and wave her nasty-ass cunt all up in everybody’s faces? She wants debauchery to be the theme of her court instead of sacredness and magic? Then she’s gonna get all the depravity she can handle.”

Rush stilled. “What does that mean?”

I had no freaking idea, so I stomped off toward the bathing chamber. One thing I could be certain of just then, I needed a bath nearly as badly as I needed to skin the queen alive.

“Where are you going?”

“To clean up,” I grunted. “I’ve been tasting umbrac for days. It’s nasty, and I’m so over it, you have no idea. I’m over being some psycho’s toy to jerk around. I’m over it all, Rush.” I glared at him over my shoulder. “Over. It.”

I slipped through the threshold, my hand already on the door, preparing to close it.

“What about the dragonling?”

“What about him?” I asked in a near shout. Whatever shit I still had left, I was precariously close to losing it. And I hadn’t even begun worrying for everyone I left behind in the Sorumbra yet, probably out of their minds with worry over me—Xeno especially.

“Are you going to take a bath with him?” Rush asked.

“Of course I am,” I said. “Saff loves a bath.”

He didn’t. He hated water.

Then I slammed the door, slid a sleepy Saffron around to my chest, and slumped against it.

27.DESERVING OF NOTHING LESS THAN A GOLDEN CROWN TO CELEBRATE ITS GLORY

~ ELOWYN ~

Perhaps an hour later, I emerged from the bath infinitely cleaner but not much calmer. Apparently lovely hot water and some quiet reflection could only do so much soothing when a psychotic queen had a stranglehold on my life.

The moment I opened the door, Saffron bounded out, claws scrabbling across the floor, heavy tail whipping every which way, eager to escape the water’s proximity. I hadn’t bothered trying to wash him, not up for the fight it would require.

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