Page 6 of Fae Exile

Xeno snorted. “How could I forget? You were busting your ass as hard as any of us protectors.”

“Exactly. So...” I waited until he met my stare. “I’ve got this, okay?” Hearing the words aloud helped, because in truth I wasn’t sure how much I had this at all. A part of me I refused to examine yet felt broken in such a way that I might never find my way back to my whole self again.

But Xeno didn’t need to know that.

He sighed, seemingly resigned. “You never did like anyone telling you what to do.”

I barked a low, somewhat bitter laugh. “And yet that’s all anyone ever did in Nightguard.”

Xeno pursed his lips but didn’t respond. He was a dragon shifter, a lauded protector. I ... hadn’t been. Based on my assigned tasks alone, I’d been a servant.

Once more, I glanced at Saffron. “Come on, boy,” I encouraged. “You wanna ride with me? Fly on over.” The dragonling hadn’t even attempted the awkward flight of a fledgling since his capture.

“Fuck, no,” Xeno said. “He’ll claw you all over. He’ll?—”

But Saffron had unfurled his wings and stood, wavering uncomfortably atop the horse.

Xeno and I watched. Even Roan stilled to observe.

“Come on, boy,” I said. “It’s only a short jump.” I was the length of a horse away. “You can do it. Just?—”

Saffron launched himself at me with none of the characteristic grace of his kind. He slammed into me in a mess of claws, sharp joints, and wings.

The air whooshed out of me at the impact, and I tottered precariously in the saddle for several seconds ... but eventually managed to grip the horn with one hand so fiercely that it stuck, and the dragonling with the other, clutching him close to my chest.

Xeno’s strong hands fluttered in the air around us, trying to help.

“See?” I told him above the dragon’s head. “I’ve got this.” Then I smiled, perhaps my first genuine smile since being stabbed in the heart.

Xeno knew as well as I did that I was at least partially full of shit. But being the good friend he was, he didn’t comment beyond a doubtingah-ha, leading Bolt after the others instead.

However, Roan chuckled gruffly and said, “Ya almost went ass over teakettle there, lassie. But glad to see your spark startin’ to come back. Rush would never forgive himself if he’d taken that from ya.”

And just like that, any urge to smile was gone. Scowling as I stared blindly at Reed and Pru in front, I willed myself to forget about what Rush had done. Hell, to forget about him entirely so I could forge whatever life I could out here in the savage wilderness that sought to gobble me up whole.

But even as I set the intention, the mangled mass of my healing heart already knew: I’d never be able to forget Rush.

There wasn’t a chance in hell I’d be rid of his mark on me, bond or no damn bond.

4.SILK, SHADOWS, AND SMOKE, THE SPIDER SPINS ITS STICKY WEB

~ RUSH ~

The music changed when I’d cut the distance between me and the queen in half. The song had been pleasant, happy even—entirely discordant to the many vipers, disguised in bright colors and artful fashion, poised to strike in this mirrored den. At another time, the jaunty song would have probably reminded me of a day in my childhood at the lake on our estate along with both my sisters, our parents sitting together on the shore watching us play in the water. Those days when we’d been our parents’ only focus had been rare, and we’d cherished them.

Now, the memory of those simpler, fuller times only sparked pain.

The orchestra must have been advised of the queen’s marked desire for “sensual delights.” With the kind of skill to be expected of these musicians, among the most talented in all the mirror world and likely threatened to perform in a similar vein as I was, the tune transformed into silk and shadows and smoke. The shift was so remarkable, the music suddenly erotic, that I could all too easily conjure up the imagery of making love to Elowyn.

How she’d given herself over to me so fully. Every thrust within her had threatened to steal away my breath, as if nothing could ever be any more magnificent.

And then she’d kiss me or stare into my eyes, her face beautiful and alluring and genuine, free of the artifice that defined court life. She’d offer up all of herself for devouring, and I’d swear to myself all over again that nothing could ever be better than this. I could lose myself in her for eternity and die a happy man.

Those moments shared with her, when I’d allowed her husky laugh to wrap me in its tantalizing embrace, to lure me deeper and deeper into the trance she cast over me, had been enough to obscure all the pain, all the threats, all thedreadthat seemed to have carved out a permanent home deep inside my gut.

Elowyn. Pure, fierce, fiery Elowyn. How could I have had no better choice than to fucking stab her and then send her away?

I realized with a start that I’d stopped walking, the erogenous music casting its spell upon me. I stood wedged between two gossiping groups. Clearing my throat and avoiding their nosy stares, I forced myself to keep moving, even after I trained my gaze up ahead on the queen.

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