Page 68 of Brutal Kingdom

“Be a robot. Callous and unfeeling. That’s your suggestion foreverything.”

I hate that she still sees me as cold and unfeeling. “I’m the man I have to be to survive. To thrive. To keep from getting walked all over. But we both know I have feelings. I gave a fuck about you, didn’t I?”

She looks away. “That’s over.”

“Is it? I’m right fucking here. Right now. Trying to make sure you’re okay, when I’m supposed to be on campus with Bella.”

“Oh, that’s right. You have to keep up appearances. Go get dressed, Pinocchio. I’ll let myself out.”

“I’m the boy who lies?”

“No. You’re the wooden puppet, being led around on strings.”

Pouring myself a drink, I consider her analogy. It’s a pretty good one. “I guess that makes you the blue fairy?”

“Me?” she snorts. “I’m not in this fucked up fairytale.”

“Sure, you are. You’re the magical being who brought me to life.”

Looking down at her cup, she whispers, “Too bad I’m not the cricket acting as your conscience. Things would’ve been so much better if I were.”

* * *

I push off from the wall when Jordanna exits the science building. “God, not today, Logan.”

I’ve had some time to process what happened, and no matter how much I try to pretend it was a harmless prank, it wasn’t. Jordanna was trapped in an electric car on that road with idiots speeding by. She could’ve been killed. That’s not just something I can laugh off or brush aside. I knew her taking on this fight wasn’t gonna be easy. I just didn’t imagine Bella would go to these lengths to get her to back off.

Walking behind her, I say, “Jordanna, pursuing this inheritance is too dangerous.”

“Dangerous for whom? Bella or the status quo?”

I stop her so we can have this conversation face-to-face. “I’m trying to protect you?”

She bows. “Oh, great and powerful man, is little ole me safe to cross the street with this tiny little puddle, or should I wait for you to lay your coat upon the ground for me first?”

“Haven’t you noticed people clam up the minute you mention Imogen’s name?” They’re doing it around me, too.

“That’s because your little boy’s club is hiding the truth. That’s exactly why I’m gonna keep saying her name, no matter how many times people accuse me of making shit up, or trying to convince me that she never existed.” She frowns at me. “Congratulations, I guess you’re first in line for me to say, fuck off.”

She’s finally looking at me. I feel that pull. That need to be closer to her. To give myself over to her. “I’m not here to stop you, I’m here to help.”

“Uh, huh. You mean help the founding families keep the truth buried. No need to broadcast that. I already know that’s the plan.”

“Jordy, you’ll never get the answers you’re looking for on your own. But my name gives me access to places and people you don’t have. I can help.”

“Why would I trust you to help me with anything other than helping me over a cliff? You hate me, Logan. And the feeling is mutual. So what’s this really about?”

It’s about wanting to keep her safe, and feeling sorry for my part in all this. If I wouldn’t have taken Bella’s reasoning at face value in the beginning and dug a little deeper, maybe things never would’ve come to this. It’s about my inability to shake her loose.

Even after everything that’s happened, she’s twined around my heart, under my skin and has her hooks in my soul. I’m fighting a losing battle with her and the side effects of refusing to admit the truth is fucking with my head and my art.

I’ve been pretending, but finding her in that car, knowing I could lose her. I can’t bury my feelings anymore. Whatever it is between us isn’t going away. She may not want to hear it, but I need to say it.

“Jordy, you hurt me. You pissed me off and I want nothing more than to squeeze my hand around that delicate throat of yours and snuff your life out.”

Rolling her eyes, she says, “How psychotic of you.”

“You want to do the same to me. We’re extremes. We love hard. Clawing, scratching, and biting our way through the pain. We hurt each other, but we’re the only ones who can make each other feel better.”