Page 95 of Broken Princess

“I haven’t decided yet.”

“Bella’s probably going home, or on a cruise. She basically does the same thing every year. Hal, and Tabitha are planning to go to Daytona and I’m not sure about Frankie. It’ll be pretty dead around here.”

The unused bedroom phone rings while I’m brushing my teeth. Logan answers it with a distracted, “Hello.”

The call for me to come to the phone never happens. I open the bathroom door, peeking my head out, I ask, “Who was on the phone?" The envelope in his hand has his attention. "Logan. Who was on the phone?” I cock my hip against the door-jamb waiting for him to answer.

"I don't know. Somebody who obviously didn't wanna talk to me."

He's using that tone he has when he's detaching himself from the moment. I step forward and run my fingers through his hair. “Don’t,” he says leaning away from my touch.

I back off, giving him space. "What did I do?"

"Whatdidyou do, Jordy?" He stares at me, waiting for some type of confession. Okay, I’m not about to do this. Huffing, I head to my closet, looking for something to wear. "I'm late for class, and I don't have time for whatever mood swing you're sliding into this morning, Logan."

“If you ask me, you don't have time for a lot of things lately.”

I turn to face him. “What's that supposed to mean?”

“It means I tried to make excuses for you, but I can’t anymore. You’re different since you came back to school. Hanging out with grad students you avoided before, you barely spend time with Kassidy, and I don't know the last time I saw you painting or sketching outside of a class assignment. We barely talk about anything real happening in our lives. You’re impulsive, and rude for no reason, aggressive and secretive, and suddenly there’s nothing you won’t do in bed. You let me defile you in ways I never thought you would and I don’t know how you feel about any of it. Are you into it Jordy? Are you intome?”

“I haven’t changed.”

“Really? Because the girl I fell for let me inside her body and her mind.Thatgirl communicated her limits. But now, it's like I don't even know who you are anymore.” He swallows thickly, and says, “I don't know who I'm making love to anymore.”

He slips his shirt over his head and shoves his feet into his shoes. “I told you I was done with the game, so if this is your way of making me prove myself to you. Some type of competition while you decide if you really wanna be with me. I don't wanna compete.”

He slams the phone and card on the desk and storms off. It’s the card that came with the bouquet of flowers wishing me a great school year, and it’s sitting on top of the notes that come with the Monday addition of the paper. The ones I thought were from him.

Logan

What started as a lazy morning where I planned to slow stroke Jordanna awake, ended with a fight. She did a crappy job of hiding those sappy ass notes, and I know it had to be Noel on the other end of the line. I gotta hand it to him, he’s persistent, and if I was a girl; I might fall for that shit too.

Jordanna walked right by me today. Actually, that’s not true. I walked by her, still too pissed to talk about what happened. I’m tired of all the back and forth and feeling like I’m the only one fighting for us. Last semester I knew exactly where I stood with her every step of the way. Now, outside of bed, I’m not even sure what we’re doing and who we are to each other.

As much as I want to say this is all on her, I know it’s not. I fucked things up last semester. I’ve been trying to make amends, and maybe I haven’t said it enough, but fuck, I love her. I’m even making an effort to be friends with that dipshit for her. I’m not sure what more I can do.

I look down at my hands, and punch the clay I’m holding into another ball. I’ve restarted this bowl five times already. I’m not getting any work done while my mind is on this shit. Turning off the wheel, I wipe my hands, grab my smock and head to the roof. The only thing that will help the mood I’m in, is to bang shit. And since it can’t be Jordanna, the hunk of stone I have up there will have to do.

With every hit of my chisel and mallet, I think over what’s happened between us. She’s changed, but is it for the better or worst? I love that she’s stepping out of her comfort zone and willing to try things I like. I think that’s part of the reason I’m in deeper than I was before. But what does she like? Is it me holding nothing back, or are the sweet cards and cutesy notes what she really wants? Am I just scratching an itch like she says, and she’s emotionally involved with him?

I don’t want half of her. I don’t want to be the person she gives her body to while her heart belongs to someone else. Have I enjoyed that type of arrangement before? Hell yes, but that’s not what my relationship with Jordanna is supposed to be like. We’re a couple. We’re supposed to be in love.

A stress line appears in the marble, and I continue to chip at it until it finally breaks free. Cranking up my radio, I take a sip of my beer and commit to getting at least one section of this new sculpture done before heading home to see the littles.

Thirty-Seven

Jordanna

Iwent home to watch Summer’s game and missed the last bus to campus. I don’t wanna impose on Pepper by asking her to send a car, and it’s gonna be hell getting a cab this time of the night. I’m exhausted and ready to get to bed, but I don’t wanna trouble mom by asking her to drive me back to school tomorrow.

Logan’s been distant since finding those notes and I haven’t been able to think of anything to say to explain what’s going on with me. Ican’texplain what’s going on with me. But I can’t have him shutting me out, either. Not yet. My plan hinges on having his trust. I need an opening to try to smooth things over with him. No time like the present to test what he said about not leaving me stranded.

I send a text letting him know what happened. I’m shocked when he shows up fifteen minutes later, and we ride the hour back to campus in silence. The strain between us is palpable. It’s hard to tell if this is a game he’s playing, or if he’s really upset. Regardless of the answer, I need to fix things between us.

When we pull in front of my dorm, I climb out the car, keeping my gaze fixed on the building in front of me while I try to apologize. “Logan, I know I’ve been distant and acting strange. It’s just that it’s hard for me to open up to you again. You say things are different this time and that you’re trying. Well, Logan, I’m trying too. I never expected to get involved with you again and it’s messing with my opinion of myself. I mean what girl reunites with the guy who intentionally bullied and mistreated her, unless she’s a fool or a glutton for punishment?”

He places my bags on the curb and closes the trunk.

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