Page 73 of Beautiful Agony

"I thought if I could just win one more fucking time, I could be the son she needed. That I wasn't this worthless failure. Do you have any idea what that's fucking like?"

"I know exactly what that feels like," I say quietly.

Freddy's bitter laugh cuts through the air. "Yeah? You expect me to believe thatyouknow what it's like to feel useless? Worthless?"

I say nothing, letting the silence stretch between us.

"Look at this place." Freddy gestures at our surroundings. "Look at what you've built. You're a fucking king."

Still, I remain quiet. I don't correct him that I had no hand in building this place. That I've spent my entire life trying to prove to my own mother that I was something more than the monster who made me.

"You have everything," he says, his voice growing hoarse. "Power. Money. Respect. Hell, you even got both my sisters to actually care about you. And now you're standing here telling me you know what it's like to feel worthless?"

He runs his hands down his face, sighing.

"You know what the worst part is? Mom never stopped believing in me, even when everyone else did. She'd just look at me with those eyes full of hope and say 'I know you'll figure it out, Freddy. You always have.'"

His voice cracks on the last words. "But I never did, did I? I just kept failing her. Over and over and over. And then she died, and I still owed so much money."

He lets out a hollow laugh that sounds more like a sob.

"You know what I did after I pawned Mom's necklace? I tried to drink myself to death." His voice drops to barely a whisper. "But I couldn't even do that. I kept thinking that if I did, then I'd see her again, you know? And that she'd be fucking heartbroken."

I watch him crumble and blink back his tears. I no longer see the man who tormented Lacey but a broken soul crushed under the weight of his own failures and guilt.

For a moment, I'm reminded of myself—of all those nights I spent staring at my reflection, wondering if Polina would ever look at me without seeing Pyotr's shadow.

But above all else, I'm reminded that it took Lacey to help her finally see that Iamdifferent.

Before I can respond, I hear footsteps approaching. Lacey appears in the doorway, holding something that catches the light—the ostentatious necklace I bought her at the jeweler's.

The one with the massive center diamond.

"This will more than cover your debt to Kirsan," Lacey says, her voice steady.

Freddy's eyes widen at the sight of the necklace. I can practically see the gears turning in his head as he calculates its worth.

"And what happens when they ask how I got my hands on something like that?" The edge he usually uses towards Lacey returns.

"You tell them exactly what they expect to hear," I say, the plan forming in my mind. "That your soft-hearted sister brought you to Pankration, and you stole it from her."

Freddy's head snaps toward me. "You want me tolie? Tothem?"

"They'll believe you," I continue. "It's not the first time you stole from family to pay your debts. But something like this? They'll probably have those cops follow you, and that's when we'll ambush them."

"Vadim." Lacey's hand finds my arm. "That's too dangerous."

"I'll do it." Freddy says.

Lacey looks at him with surprise in her eyes. I do the same and see something unexpected there.

Determination?

"I know I've been shit to everyone." He looks at Lacey. "Especially you. I wasn't the brother you deserved. Or the son Mom and Dad hoped I'd be."

Lacey's grip tightens on my arm. I can feel her trembling slightly.

"I see what's going on here," Freddy says. "Those stories on the Seattle Voice? The ones about the trafficked women?" He gestures vaguely. "That big blond asshole following Megan around like some lovesick puppy? The four of you locked up in that office for hours? I'm not an idiot."

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