Page 23 of Beautiful Agony

The tenderness in her touch breaks something in me. I can't keep hiding these thoughts from her, not when they threaten to poison this precious moment.

"I feel... excited about being a father, but also scared," I confess. "What if this child proves that I really am no different than him?"

"Youaredifferent." Lacey's voice is firm as she takes my face in both hands, forcing me to look at her. "You're not Pyotr."

"But I am. The same blood runs through my veins. The same darkness?—"

"No." Her thumb wipes away a tear I hadn't realized had fallen. "Your father saw children as tools. You're crying at the merethoughtof failing our baby. That's not Pyotr. That's all you, Vadim. That's the part of you that Polina gave you."

Lacey's fingers are gentle as she keeps wiping away at the tears, and her words pierce the fog of my dark thoughts.

"You're a good man, Vadim," she whispers, her own tears tracking down her cheeks. "I've seen it in everything you do. In how you fight to save those who can't save themselves. In how you protected Serena. In how fiercely you love."

I try to look away, but she won't let me.

"Our marriage may have started as a means to an end, but you've been the best husband I could ask for." Her voice cracks with emotion. "And I know—Iknow—you'll be an amazing father. You're protective, loving, and with an infinite capacity for goodness."

"How can you be so sure?" The words escape before I can stop them.

"Because I see you, Vadim Stravinsky. Not as the pakhan or Pyotr's son, but you. What I see is a man who would move heaven and earth in the pursuit of doing therightthing. A man who carries so much light inside him, even if he's surrounded by darkness."

Something shifts between us as she speaks—like ice thawing after a long winter. The chasm that's kept us apart these past weeks doesn't feel quite so vast anymore. A tendril of familiar warmth snakes its way from her fingertips to my core.

I cover her hands with mine, and slowly, I bring them down into my lap between us.

"Lacey…" I lean in, whispering, and then capture her lips in mine.

The kiss is gentle at first, like testing waters I feared had frozen over. But as Lacey's lips part against mine, that familiar warmth returns. Her fingers tangle in my hair as she shifts closer in my lap.

Her lips are soft against mine, tentative at first like she's afraid I might pull away again. But I don't. I won't. Not anymore.

My hands slide up to cup her face, thumbs stroking her cheeks as I deepen the kiss, awakening something in me that's been dormant these past weeks.

Her skin is warm against mine, alive with possibility. The familiar heat balloons and grows, slow and steady like a rising tide. Her fingers trail up my chest to trace a line along my jaw.

The tenderness in her touch awakens something I thought we'd lost. Not the frantic need from before, but something deeper and more precious.

We break apart, both breathless. My mind races with everything we need to do.

"We should book an appointment with the best OBGYN in Seattle immediately. I'll have Lenka order some books on parenting." My hands cup Lacey's face. "And diapers—we'll need so many diapers. And the east wing of Pankration would make a perfect nursery, it gets the morning sun?—"

"Vadim." Lacey's finger presses against my lips, stopping my rambling. "Before all of that, there's one thing you really need to do first."

"What's that?"

"You need to tell your Mom."

The words hit me like a physical blow. Polina. Of course. After thirty-four years of rejection, will this news finally bridge the gap between us? Or will she reject this child too, seeing only Pyotr's blood?

Lacey's hands find mine, squeezing gently. "She deserves to know, Vadim."

"What if..." The words catch in my throat. "What if she doesn't want anything to do with our child?"

"She trusted you enough to return to the place of her nightmares because somewhere inside of her, she still believes in you," Lacey says softly. "You need to give her the chance."

Lacey's words pierce through my doubts like rays of sunlight through storm clouds. She's right. I do need to give my mother this chance. The way Lacey sees through my fears and offers her unwavering support makes my chest tighten with emotion.

"If she can come to you as a mother," Lacey continues. "Then you can return to her as a son."

---