Page 20 of Beautiful Agony

"Didn't you tell me you stopped taking birth control because you and Nathan were planning to start trying right after the wedding?" Megan's words hit me like a punch to the gut. I hadn't even thought about that.

"Oh God." My hand presses against my stomach. The nausea, the mood swings, the way my silk robe felt tight and rough around me lately...

"When was your last period?"

I try to think back, but everything's been such a blur since Paris. The days have bled together in a haze of work and guilt and...

"I can't be," I whisper. "It's impossible."

"Why? Because you've only had sex with him like what? A dozen times?"

Try several dozen. In his office. Against walls. On his desk. In the shower. On practically every surface we can find.

Before I can say anything to rebuke Megan, Lenka returns with a steaming cup of chamomile tea, and sets it carefully on the side table.

"Lenka?" Megan calls out before the housekeeper can leave. "Would you be able to get us a pregnancy test?"

Lenka's eyes widen slightly at Megan's request, and for a moment I see something flicker across her weathered features—concern mixed with what might be hope.

"Of course, dear." She glances at me, her gaze lingering on my face before dropping to where my hand still rests against my stomach. "I will send someone to the pharmacy right away."

"Thank you," I whisper, wrapping my hands around the warm teacup. The chamomile's gentle scent helps settle my churning stomach.

"Perhaps..." Lenka hesitates at the door, her hand resting on the frame. "Perhaps you would prefer to rest in your office while you wait? It would be more comfortable than sitting here."

The tenderness in her voice nearly breaks me. It reminds me so much of Mom—the way she'd fuss over me whenever I was sick, insisting I stay in bed while she brought me soup and tea.

"I'm okay here," I manage to say. "But thank you, Lenka."

She nods once, a small smile tugging at her lips, before disappearing into the hallway. Her footsteps fade away, leaving me alone with Megan and my racing thoughts.

The enormity of what we're waiting to confirm crashes over me like a wave. My fingers tighten around the teacup, seeking its warmth as an anchor.

"Hey." Megan reaches over and squeezes my knee. "Whatever happens, I'm here. Okay?"

I nod, not trusting my voice. The tea trembles in my cup, betraying the slight shake in my hands.

I siton the edge of the bathtub in one of the guest bathrooms downstairs, staring at the white plastic stickbalanced precariously on the counter. Megan paces in front of me, checking her phone every few seconds.

"How much longer?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Two more minutes." She glances at the timer she set. "God, these things take forever. You'd think they can come up with something better.”

"What am I going to do if it's positive?"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves." Megan stops pacing and sits beside me. "One crisis at a time, okay?"

I lean my head against her shoulder, drawing comfort from her familiar presence. "I should've expected this. I was so careless."

"Hey, now's not the time to blame yourself." She wraps an arm around me. "Whatever that test says, we'll figure it out. Together."

The timer on her phone chimes, making us both jump. Neither of us moves.

"Do you want me to look?" Megan offers quietly.

I shake my head. "No. I need to do this."

Standing on shaky legs, I approach the counter. The test lies there innocently, as if it doesn't hold the power to completely upend my world. Again.

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