Page 78 of Bound to a Monster

“What do you think Step would say if he knew this was going to happen?” I ask Alex. He’s the only other person in the world that might understand.

“He wouldn’t be surprised. You know your brother. He was pragmatic and realistic.”

“But he loved our family.”

“He loved you and Natalya. He loved your mother before she died. But I don’t think he loved Oleg.”

I nod to myself and shift the gun resting in my lap. I make sure it’s loaded before tucking it into my waistband. “He tried to stop it, you know.” I don’t look at Alex as I talk. We’ve never discussed this before, but he was around at the very end for the worst of it when Dad finally realized he had to stop. “I remember him and Dad getting into screaming matches, and Dad wouldn’t budge. He just kept saying, I’m the perfect motivation.”

“It was wrong, what he did to you.”

“It worked though, didn’t it? Step was good. He was smart and focused.”

“Didn’t save his life.”

“No, I guess it didn’t.”

“If you knew it could, would you go back and do it all again?”

I let that thought roll around my head. Would I let myself get tortured all over again for the chance to save my brother’s life? Even knowing what it would do to me? How it would break me in ways I’m still trying to understand?

All that blood, all that suffering, at the hands of my own father.

I push the door open and don’t answer. Alex doesn’t push it. I expected him to try talking me out of this, but instead he only looks grim like there’s nothing else he can do. That’s Alex, loyal Alex. My sister’s husband, my dead brother’s best friend. Hell, my best friend.

“You don’t have to do this,” I tell him, pausing on the sidewalk. “I know how you feel about my father.”

“He brought me up. He gave me a chance.” Alex gives me a grim stare. “But I can see what he is now. What he did to you and to Step too. I was too young to get it back then, but now everything he did just reeks of fucking brutality and trauma. It ruined everything.”

“There’s no shame in turning back.”

“I’m with you until the end.”

I nod and knock on the door.

Dad’s young guard answers. He seems a little skeptical but lets me and Alex through. Why wouldn’t he? I’ve had disagreements with Dad in the past and I’ve even done stupid, spiteful shit to him out of anger and frustration. There’s no reason to suspect what I might do.

“We’ve got a new rule,” the young guy says, stopping me in my tracks. I turn back to him and he looks awkward. “No weapons in the house.”

My eyebrows raise. “I assume you’re carrying.”

“Got to for my job. But the boss?—”

“My father.”

“He said specifically, no weapons on anyone but staff. I’m sorry, but that means you two.”

I hesitate. I planned on walking into that office and shooting my father in the head. Clean in, clean out. Except without a gun, it’s going to be messy, and he might be able to call his men to help in time.

“Thanks,” the kid says as I hand over my weapon. Alex does the same.

My father’s on the phone and he waves us inside. I pour myself a whiskey in a heavy crystal glass while Alex lingers near the door.

“I understand that,” Dad’s saying to whoever’s on the line. “Call Jacque and tell that French-Canadian twat he’d better fix his fucking trucks and get them rolling again or we have a fucking problem. Don’t call me again until it’s done.” He hangs up and throws his phone down on the desk.

“Problems up north?” I ask.

He scowls and picks at his cuff. “Nothing that can’t be handled. To what do I owe the pleasure of my youngest son’s visit?”

---