Page 38 of Bound to a Monster

“She’s pretty. Adriano did you a solid.”

“I don’t want to talk about Carmie.”

Alex’s eyebrows raised. “How’d you know that’s who I meant?”

“Don’t be a prick.”

“You can tell me what’s going on, you know. You don’t have to keep it bottled up.” He hunches forward on his elbows. “I held that shit in when I was going through it with Natalya, and it was hard. Letting it out feels better.”

“You want to know how I feel?” I throw back my drink and wave for another. I feel the mask slip ever so slightly. “I’m exhausted. I’m angry. I find myself married to a woman that despises mewhile trying to pull off the most delicate job of my life. Carmie’s just a wife. She’s just a marriage certificate.”

“Sad way to think about the rest of your life.”

“Nothing’s ever permanent.”

He grimaces and nods slightly, brooding over the dregs of his drink.

I haven’t told him yet. I’m not sure I’m going to. Even though Alex is the closest thing to a brother I have these days ever since my actual brother Stepan was killed, the idea of saying the wordsCarmie’s pregnant with my babyfeels too fucking hard. It’s too goddamn big. That kid is going to be born one day, and the second they take their first breath, it’s all over for me. I’ll be a father and I’ll have real responsibility to someone other than myself for the first time in my life.

It’s too much. So it’s easier to pretend like Carmie’s nothing to me.

“Nat wants to meet her.” Alex pushes back from the bar and gets to his feet. I finish my second drink and follow him. “You know, outside of your wedding.”

“You sure about that?”

“You know Nat. She’s not going to let it go. You’re lucky she hasn’t been blowing up your phone yet.”

He’s got a point there. My little sister is nothing if not persistent, as he well knows. “We’ll set something up.”

“Sooner rather than later. Seriously, I don’t want to be in the middle of this sibling shit anymore.”

“I’ll handle Natalya since you so clearly can’t do it yourself anymore.”

He sighs and looks genuinely pleased. “I appreciate that.”

“What happened to the big, scary killer I once knew? The perfect soldier?”

“He got fucking married, brother.”

Chapter 15

Carmie

Ithought about dumping my boxes in the master bedroom, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Instead, I had Luca carry it all into the guest room, and if he found that weird, he didn’t make any comments about it.

Probably because I would’ve bitten his goddamn head off if he tried.

Still, there was a moment, just as he was about to leave, where he turned around and gave me a big hug like we were still little kids again. “You’ll be okay,” he said, squeezing. “And if you’re not, I’ll kill him. Daniel will too.”

“Really? Daniel gives a shit?”

“You know him. Dan’s got trouble expressing his emotions, but he cares.” Luca stepped back and gave me an awkward grin. “Tell your husband I said hello.”

“My husband and I aren’t exactly speaking at the moment.”

He looked like he wanted to ask but only shook his head. “I’d rather not know.”

And he was right. It’s better if he doesn’t.

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