Page 32 of Bound to a Monster

“Thanks. I guess.”

“Just for tonight. I’ll give you that much. But tomorrow, you’re my wife.”

“What’s that even supposed to mean?”

He stares at me, a devourer, a monster. Beautiful in his brutality.

“It means I’m not as kind as everyone thinks.”

“I sure as hell know it!” I call after him as he shuts the door behind him, leaving me alone in a strange room on my wedding night with clothes and blankets and pillows that smell like him, wishing I was anywhere else, except I’m here, in my new home, with my new husband.

Living my new life.

Chapter 12

Lev

I’m not the brooding type.

Sleep usually comes easy to me. Most of the time, I’m entirely present in the moment, even when I’m struggling to contain some of my darker impulses. That’s what makes me so charming: when I’m having a conversation, I’m completely and totally inside of it. Distractions roll off my back like waves.

Except tonight. My wedding night.

Most men imagine sleeping with their pretty wife and consummating the rest of their lives. Even though that was never going to happen, I assumed we’d at least go to bed without hating each other.

Looks like I was wrong.

As I sit up alone in the living room drinking another whiskey to take the edge off, I keep reliving our first dance.

The bickering. The teasing.

The way she felt under my hands as I moved closer to her. I couldn’t control myself, and even though I knew I should shut my mouth and keep my distance, I couldn’t stop.

She drives me fucking crazy.

This sudden flood of confused emotions is hard to square with the way I’ve been for years. Because of my dark inclinations, I’ve shut myself down and worked hard to shove away anything remotely resembling a big feeling.

With Carmie, it’s like all that work is ruined.

She makes me feel. Mostly, I feel pissed off and resentful, but there are other emotions too.

Lust is at the top of the list.

God, that fucking girl. She looked so goddamn beautiful in that dress. Conservative and out of fashion, but it fit her perfectly. I could barely control myself every time she came near, which is why I stayed the fuck away for most of the night.

Until that dance.

Until she turned my life upside down.

How the hell am I going to be a father?

I know what it’s like to grow up with a monster in the house. I know what it does to a man if their only parental figure is a psychopath.

How can I possibly put my own child through something like that?

Everything is beyond fucked.

I’m about to do something evil and wickedly dangerous, and all the while I’m supposed to prepare for a baby.

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