Page 20 of Bound to a Monster

Because she’s been everything. She’s been everywhere. Each night, I go to sleep and she’s in my dreams. Each morning, I wake up and she’s the first thing I think about. My little fencer curled against my chest.

I haven’t felt like that in a very, very long time.

And I fuckinghateit.

I hate her for dragging it out of me.

And I want her so badly it makes me sick.

Seeing her standing there in my father’s sitting room was like witnessing an atom bomb rip apart everything I’ve ever known and loved. It took all my years of keeping my charming mask in place not to flip my shit.

How is ither? That fucking girl?

I’m obsessed with her. I want her so fucking bad it makes me physically ill. And I despise her for making me feel this way.

“I assume you’re not here because you like the ambiance.” Adriano Marino sits down on the stool beside me. He studies me for a moment, not unfriendly. I remember the night he held a gun to my head and nearly killed me. He would’ve done it too, if it weren’t for Alex saving my life.

Now we’re cool. Water under the bridge.

Though I won’t forget.

“I’m here to make sure our deal still stands.” I pour more whiskey into my mouth to keep myself from begging him to tellme everything he knows about my future wife. I crave her so desperately, it’s pathetic.

“Nothing’s changed,” he says casually, checking his phone. He knocks out a text before putting it back. “How’s it going on your end?”

“I’ve been putting out feelers. There are a few men who will back me when the time comes.”

“Only a few?”

“I have to be careful. I only get one shot and nothing more.”

Adriano nods slowly. “It’s not an easy thing, deposing your own father. You know you’ll have to kill him, right?”

“I understand what it’ll take.”

“And when Italians help make it happen? Yourpakhanisn’t going to object?”

“I’ll handle Zeitsev. Don’t worry about him.”

“I’m worried about everything, Lev. It’s what makes me who I am.” Adriano’s smile is distant and tense. I don’t know the heir to the Marino Famiglia all that well, but so far he’s been consistent and reliable.

When we set up this marriage arrangement, there were two layers. The first is the public deal: our families become intertwined, the war between the Russians and the Italians ends forever, and we work together to import a new flow of drug product through a Canadian pipeline the Zeitsev Bratva’s been building.

The second is private between me, Adriano, and Alex. I agreed to marry the girl—to marryCarmie—without a fight, to put ourpast violence and problems behind us, only if he agreed to help me take down my father.

This isn’t what I wanted, but it’s past time. My father’s been a problem for years, and when my older brother, Stepan, was alive, it was easy to ignore it. Step had a way about him—he could manage my father’s rages and his stupid decisions without causing any problems.

But without him, things have gotten worse. Father’s been more aggressive and more violent. He holds a grudge against Alex and my sister, Natalya, and one day he’s going to do something about them. Something very stupid and very ill-advised.

And so I made a choice.

I know how the world will see me when it’s done.

I’ll be a monster.

There’s nothing more dishonorable than fratricide in our world.

“Just back me when the time comes.” I finish my drink and push it away. “I met Carmie, by the way.”

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