He grunts in reply. “You left the wedding early.”
“Lev took me home. Were you aware of that?”
“I was told it might happen.” His frown deepens. “And this is you packing?”
“Like I said, I’ll clean it up.”
He stares at me. I halfway expect him to say something. I’m his only daughter, and I’m going to live with a total stranger starting today. I’ve been in this house my entire life. He’s been more or less running the show since the day I was born, and now he won’t have much of a say in what I do anymore.
He’s got to feel something about that.
“Just don’t leave a mess.” He glances away, hesitating. “I want you to be respectful, Carmie. I know how you can be sometimes.”
Outrage flashes through me. How I can be? I’ve been nothing but obedient, and this man has the nerve to act like I’m some kind of embarrassment. Frustration rolls through me, and I wish he’d do better. I wish he’d have some kind of sentimental moment with me over this enormous change in both our lives, but that’s asking too much of him.
I know that, but I still wish he could do better.
“I’ll be fine, Dad. Don’t worry.”
“I’m not worried for you, daughter. I’m worried for our family name. Be respectful and don’t get in trouble.” He turns his back on me. “And clean up this mess before you go.”
I watch my father disappear down the hall before I slam the door shut. I know that’ll only make him feel justified for giving me that weird little lecture, but screw him.
I feel lost and weirdly abandoned. It’s not like I really thought my dad would step up and give me the emotional moment I’m craving, but still.Somethingwould’ve been nice.
Some kindness to make it clear he understands that his only daughter is moving out.
In a fit of stupidity, I shove all my old fencing gear into one of my bags. I didn’t plan on bringing this stuff since it’s basically useless, and I can’t imagine controlling-Lev will ever let his precious little baby oven out of his sight long enough to exercise, but whatever. I miss fencing. I miss the girl I was on the fencing strip.
When my gear was on and with a competitor staring me down, the world disappeared. It was just me against my opponent. Footwork, reflex training, strategy, and tactics, I let it all take over, and I was good. I wasreallygood, and I loved winning more than anything in the world.
An old dream though. A long dead one. I’m past my prime already, but it doesn’t matter. Maybe I’ll find a use for that stuff, or maybe it’ll just take up room in my closet forever.
Chapter 14
Lev
Istalk across Adriano’s office. I should sit down and quit pacing—it’s fucking rude and I know it—but I can’t help myself. I’m jittery, and it’s not because we’re talking about murdering my father.
I keep hearing my wife puking her guts out in the toilet.
It shouldn’t bother me so much, but I know what it means.Morning sickness. The baby’s in there growing, and it’s coming whether I like it or not. Which means I’m going to have to see if I measure up to the way I think of myself, and there’s a big part of me that’s afraid I’ll fail.
Like my father failed raising me.
But it’s also abouther. My wife, Carmela, beautiful Carmie. I don’t like that she’s suffering, and I don’t like that I even give a damn. I’m not sure how to make all the pieces of me fit.
Which is why I’m worrying about what I can control.
At least there are only three of us at this meeting. Adriano and I, plus Alex. They’re the only men in the whole world I trust rightnow, mostly because Alex is married to my sister, and Adriano now has incentive to make sure our deal goes through.
“My plan’s got two phases,” I tell them, forcing myself to focus on the room. The place has lots of old-world charm. Adriano doesn’t strike me as someone nostalgic for a time long before he was even born, but there are faded and yellowing globes mixed with leather-bound volumes on the shelves. Whoever decorated this office was definitely going forpowerful ancient Mafia Donvibes. Like he’s got a fucking olive farm in the Sicilian hillside.
“And how involved am I in both of them?” Adriano asks.
“The first, not very.” I nod toward Alex. “We’re going to handle that part.”
“That’s good to know, but I’d like to hear some more details.”