Page 84 of A Kingdom of Destruction

The other part hated it.

He was too perfect—too friendly, too understanding, too forgiving.

There should be more action. More discussions outside of this prolongedgetting-to-know-youstage. Hell, they hadn’t even had their first fight yet. How could you get to truly know someone if you never argued with them?

She and Roran fought every time they were in close proximity to one another. And yet?—

He’d been kind when he found her in the garden the other day, when he’d seen her scars. No, kind wasn’t the right word. He’d been somber in the face of her vulnerability and understanding in exactly the way she needed. Without pity.

She hated to remember him the way he’d been that night with the wand because it brought her mind down paths she’d rather avoid. Paths where a future might actually be possible… but not with Cillian. With Roran.

The cold younger brother drew her with his wrath the same way Cillian did with his goodness. They were two sides of the same coin, and he had her hooked. Maybe it was the way he switched on a dime and kept her on her toes.

Had the confusion intoxicated her or Roran himself?

Growling, she clenched her hands hard enough for her tendons to strain.

“Where did you go?” Cillian squeezed her to get her attention.

Aven bent and took hold of another stone to break his hold on her. “I’m okay. I’m here,” she replied. “Lost in my headthough.” She threw the stone with no finesse, and it shattered the clear surface of the pond and sank.

“Are you hungry? I brought some of your favorites with us. You loved the apple crumble with custard we had for dessert the other day. If you open the basket, you’ll find some.”

She wanted to laugh but knew if she let herself express anything, she’d end up crying. Cillian tried; his offer was genuine and sweet. How in the world could she shift her focus to apple crumble with custard and have everything else fall into place?

It made no sense. There were so many other things to think about and worry over, and he wanted her to eat.

“I’m not hungry.” She felt like a broken record.

“We can go somewhere else if you want.”

He’d put careful thought and planning into these dates he planned, and with each of them, she knew the bond between them grew stronger. Cillian was the best friend she hadn’t had since childhood. He listened to her, spoke to her, and yet always seemed to keep some integral piece of him at bay. Hidden behind an impenetrable barrier he wouldn’t allow her to pierce.

Aven didn’t take it personally.

She had the same barriers inside of her and the same secrets she kept. Her growing fascination with Roran, for one.

“This has been really great, thank you,” she murmured. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

The last thing Aven wanted to do was have Cillian think she didn’t want to spend time with him. She did nothing but spend time with him, and when she needed someone to bounce ideas off of, or get something off her chest, she turned to him.

Exactly the way he wanted since they first met.

She needed to figure out,trulyfigure out, what to do. Before it was too late. Before she said yes to Cillian and they progressed like a shooting star toward matrimony.

That was where they were headed. She felt it in her bones. Any more of these dates, and she’d cave like a straw hut. Cillian would wear her down with thoughtfulness. There were worse ways to be convinced of something; she knew it from experience.

Roran.

If she didn’t talk to him now, she’d lose her chance forever.

Marriage to Cillian wouldn’t be a bad thing. He proved it to her, showed her with his good deeds and the way he cared for the people here.

He showed her now when he took her hand in his and tucked her close to his side. As he made idle chit-chat to try and bring her back to the moment while not really minding how her mind had shot off in a different direction.

He carved time out of his very busy schedule as heir apparent to have these dates. He was a good man.

What was wrong with her? Why wasn’t she jumping at this chance? A decent match, a fine partner who lived his life with humor and compassion, and an end to the war she’d dedicated her life to fighting.

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