Page 84 of Ava Stargazer

“I will speak with Rhutg.”

Ava felt a prick of tears, as if she had been scolded. She turned away.For caring.

He leaned over and gathered her in his arms. His mental tone was gentler in her mind as it filtered in.“Your caring iswonderful. I accept it fully. But I draw the line when that takes priority over things we need to do for our safety.If you need to worry as a mother, then I’ll be more than happy to breed you a kit. Or I’ll trade for a coar for you when we get back.”

Ava winced, turning in his arms.“Stop. You’re making me feel bad now.”Tears began to gather in her eyes, and one rolled down her cheek.

He gentled his hands on her again, stroking down her side. She breathed heavily, her hands balled into the blanket underneath.

He took his hand and wiped the tear from her face. “Sweet bird. That is not my intent. It is not in our nature to be vulnerable. I protect, not the other way around.”

Ava, feeling chastised, didn’t fully bend in his arms. Instead, she pushed him away. “No, Vox.”

He turned still as a stone, listening.

Her voice became heated, echoing off the walls in her engine alcove. “It is like earlier with the marking decision. Always like earlier. You make decisions and I go along with your plans. But I’m allowed to be scared and talk things through with you."

She forced herself to meet his eyes, with her hands still balled in her lap. “I want to choose things together. I won’t hold you back, but we need to agree.”

Vox sighed, his eyes roaming her face. Silence built between them and Ava held his eyes. Finally Vox leaned forward, connecting his head to her chest, showing her the vulnerable backside of his neck. “Forgive me, Ava. I am unaccustomed to feeling weak. What I just said was stronger than I meant in my vulnerability.” He lifted his head and dipped his face into her shoulder, nose in her neck. “I do not want to be told to stop, to turn back. I do not like feeling this way and want to power through. Especially if my instincts tell me to fight.” He looked at Ava imploringly. “I have lost, my people have lost, from inaction before.”

Ava softened, hearing his unspoken words. His fear and pain. “I just don’t want what I feel to be ignored.”

Vox took his hand and softly ran it down her cheek in that tilted way of his so his hands didn’t scratch, and pushed her hair behind her ear. “Then speak. There is a plan in your mind that your concern for me is making you shy away from and not discuss. This is what I mean. What I meant. You yourself have an idea, and then turned back from it out of fear for me. Of not wanting to stress me when I am weak. What is it? I will listen. I can compromise.”

Ava bit her lip and didn’t answer.

“Little bird, don’t make me probe further.” He nipped her on the shoulder as he shone.“I am weary.”

Ava looked at him with baleful eyes and didn’t respond at first. “I thought I wasn’t supposed to take it easy on you if you’re weary. Or care. Now it feels like you’re mocking me,”

“Ava. What is it?”He cleared his throat. “Please?”

That word still worked on her, despite her wanting to hold on to the disagreement. Vox didn’t push further, he just watched as she took her time, his eyes still clouded a bit from pain.

Ava huffed, frustrated, as she became unglued. She noticed the way his posture drooped a bit.He’s still hurting.She breathed out and said in a rush, “It’s something Fijjak said to me a while ago. He told me it’s not too late as long as someone could still speak. That the worst thing to do is be silent and let history be made by others if you still have a voice.”

Vox held still, listening. “Fijjak is wise. The Spry have been around a long, long time.”

“He said the Vorbax would have been erased too, had you not spoken up and fought.”

“This is true. The Tuxa tried to do with us what the Riolie did with Humans. And this is why I will not rest if there are things that need done. And Fijjak said this to you before Cipra?”

“Yes.” Ava looked at him, her eyes wide and fearful. “I want to do something to show that I’m here, that I exist. And that Humans can think for ourselves. That we are sentient. Can I do that?”

Vox held her tight, the argument they had earlier dissolving with his humming and gentle stroking her down her side. “Why would you think I would disagree with that? With you having a voice?”

“Because it would put a bigger target on us.”Because on Torga you didn’t want me exposed.

He picked up on that thought with a wince. “You still did the mission on Torga though. I did not stop you.”

Ava countered. “And you worried about me.”

“For good reason.”

“Like I worry now for you?”

Vox frowned and shifted his body where he sat, looking defeated. “I do not like feeling weak. I am fine.”

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