“Oh.” Ava answered lamely, and soon her mind was busy trying to figure out how Miral had made all the food on the table.
Miral, noticing Ava’s interest, was happy to provide details. Ava noticed she had the same spices that Vox used, showing that he clearly did learn to cook from her, compared to some of the other flavors she had at the women’s hall. And Miral looked, equally interested, at the project Ava was working on, gears strewn on a table in the otherwise neat house. “What is this?”
Ava felt her face redden over her handmade project. “I was trying to make something for Vox. See? The gears? It feeds the birds for him at regular intervals.”
Miral just hummed and handed her more food. “He will like that. He always had a gentle heart. In fact, he was my most gentle child, before...” Her voice trailed off and she looked at Ava again, her eyes crinkling like Vox’s.
At the end of the meal, the winds were dying down and the remainders were cleaned and stored for the next day in a box that stayed cold, powered by an IO mineral attached to its side.
Miral looked at Ava. “I will stay tonight in the little house between my sons, if you want to join me. I can teach you how to make some of the food we ate today. There is an extra bed.”
Ava shuffled her feet and looked down.I still feel more comfortable on the ship without Vox here.She was about to refuse but then, looking at Miral’s hopeful expression, she had second thoughts. “Okay. But I still want to go back to the ship tonight to continue going through the boxes. It has felt good to stay busy.”
Miral waved her to walk with her. “Come, Ava. Yes.”
She followed Miral to her small house. It had a bit of dust inside, and Miral ran her finger along the windowpane after she entered, feeling it between her two long fingers. “It has been too long since I have stayed here. That will change now. Now that both of my sons are back.”
Ava, accustomed to clearing dust, found a rag without asking and began to wipe down the surfaces while Miral did so as well. She spoke as they both fell into cleaning. “Well, they’re both gone now though.”
“Yes, but with you and Orla here, they have more of a reason to stay. Vorbax men...” Miral shook her head and raised her sleeve to show Ava a long scar on her arm. “The war was hard. It left scars like this that just ... don’t heal well, even with time. It is like that for them sometimes too, I fear. Both Vox and Erox. Only you can’t see it easily on them.” She smiled, genuinely, at Ava. “That is why I am grateful to you. I thought I might lose my son to revenge. Now he will come here and live again.”
Ava continued wiping the dust, forcing a smile.Grateful to me . . . ?She cleared her throat and then said softly, “Even if I’m not really one of you?”
“You’re what we would be had we not been able to fight back. We have a joint history. It feels destined in some ways. And in your heart, you are kind. I couldn’t ask for more than that. You make my son smile and want to live.”
Miral began humming while she worked, not pushing, until Ava opened up on her own. “It’s hard when there’s so much new at once.” Ava’s eyes closed, feeling like she’d said too much.
She felt a pressure on her hand and looked down to see Miral’s blue fingers resting on hers. “Yes, Ava. It’s hard.”
Miral patted her hand in a soft way, in a way that made Ava’s eyes tear up, thinking of what her own mother might have been like in a different life.Who would Laura have been?She quickly wiped her eyes and smiled back at Miral. “Sorry, it’s just the dust ... with my eyes.”
Ava got back in the ship and immediately checked the message boards.Nuor said she would tell Ebel today to look.But her hope deflated, looking at the screen. Her hand fell down heavily on the counter.
Ebel still hadn’t responded.
The first wrinkle of unease crept in as she tried yet another place, another forum, to leave a message.No response.She also left one on the unofficial channel the contractors used that Nuor had let her know about. Doubt moved into her mind.Maybe Ebel doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.Her body sagged with the thought, her heart feeling as if it was falling in her chest.
Ebel was so smart, smarter than her. He could have figured out she was trying to contact him, or have tried to send her something himself.If he wanted to.Her hands hovered over the keyboard as she wrote the message out again, adding please to the end. She clicked on the screen, breathing heavily.I’ll keep trying.She hesitated before hitting send and then wiped herface, not even realizing she had started to cry.What is with today? I am so full of tears.
Ava didn’t end up sorting like she told Miral she would. Initially she walked aimlessly around the engine hall, but felt frustrated more than anything. Instead, her feet eventually took her to the solarium, thinking she could tend to the various plants she took care of here. Some of the poms had even made their way out of the vents, and once or twice she caught a glimpse of them when she was quiet within the room. Ava sat there for hours, pushing the dirt around and moving rocks to make a little garden bed area, sweating from her efforts.It doesn’t look the same as before, that’s for sure.It was much messier, but definitely different.
She took a break, leaning back on her arms.This doesn't feel right anymore.She felt closed in, a way she never had before in the solarium. Her eyes looked back down at the disheveled ground.Being outside, in the fresh air, really is better.Ava sat there looking at the waterfall until she looked up and saw Fijjak standing behind her, his hands placed together almost in prayer. She jolted back in alarm.
“Shh, shh, little Human. I did not mean to startle. It’s just Fijjak. I felt ... you were sad and I came to make sure you were unharmed.”
Ava stood up and quickly bowed in front of him, brushing the dirt off her knees as she did so.
His antennas lowered. They were so long they reached halfway down to the floor. “Ah. Shh. Shh. Now you are scared of me. I will leave you alone, little Human. I’m sorry. I thought I would come here a bit. I don’t want to disturb you.”
“It’s Ava, and you aren’t disturbing me. I’m not hurt, I just...”
Fijjak’s antennas flopped forward, closer to her. “Ava then. Yes. You are afraid of your own mind, I see it now.”
Ava swallowed and tightly nodded, the artificial waterfall sounding loud in the silence.
Fijjak continued gesturing with one of his many hands. “There aren’t many places to go on this ship that are for leisure. I come here during the night, when it is quiet.”
“Oh, is it night already?” Ava frowned.I must have been moving rocks longer than I thought.“And no.Celestialwas never meant for any sort of ... entertaining.” Silence held for a beat before Ava asked, “Could you not sleep?”