Page 77 of Ava Greasemonkey

Vox nodded, shining. “Erox is coming down to heal you. He needed to tend to one of the women first.” He stroked her head from top to bottom, undoing the bun to let her hair down. They sat there silently while he combed through it with his fingers, before he spoke again. “You were so brave, little bird.”

That caused fresh tears to stream, sparkling as they fell on her lap.I was not. I hid. Ava wiped them away impatiently, tired of crying. Now she was feeling too much, when she was numb before. Nothing physically bad happened to her, other than what she’d inflicted on herself in her horror. Why was she reacting this way?What’s wrong with me?

A clatter outside the alcove made Ava freeze up, visibly jumping as she startled. Vox growled, “Erox.”

Erox came in a second later, grin sheepish as he opened the curtains. He had knocked the clipboard to the ground from where Ebel had it placed on the navigation table cycles ago, as if awaiting her to fill it up again with tasks. Ava hesitantly walked to pick it up, placing it back on the table before coming back into the room.

A second later, she needed to leave the alcove again, the wound sealer too big to maneuver properly in her small room with both Vox and Erox in there with her.

She sat at the navigation console while he worked, only feeling the pinching as it closed. The wound healed quickly, zippering shut with every pass Erox did slowly. The large biologics tank served as a backdrop to Erox’s motions, with her arm lying across the navigation panel. Ava gazed at the tank while Erox worked, zoning out while watching the patterns the biologics made as they moved. Smooth skin followed in the heat seal’s wake as he pressed it carefully over her arm.

Vox ran his fingers over the wound afterward, inspecting. “There are other areas of discomfort I can feel, but it is hard to assess you completely under this suit.”

The suit. Now that he mentioned it, Ava felt disgusting. She didn’t feel motivated to shower though. She didn’t feel motivated to do anything.

Vox moved her hair behind her ear, staring at her as she continued to space out, looking at the tank.

Erox stood next to him, arms crossed, a worried expression on his face as he regarded her. “We can run a few tests . . .” he started to say.

That got a reaction from Ava. Her insides boiled over in fury. Even now she was a test. A puzzle. Rage filled her blood. The rage of years of holding back.

She covered her ears and shouted, stamping her feet, pulling on her hair. “No tests! No more prodding me!” She got up and yelled, voice echoing across the engine hall, straining her vocal cords as she let out a screech that echoed in the room. “I want to be left alone!” She covered her head with her hands and sank to the ground, curling up. “I am not an experiment,” she said a second later in a hoarse voice.

Vox sat next to her. She felt his heat from where his leg pressed against hers. She looked up a few moments later, after her rage had burned itself out of her chest, to see that Erox had left and she and Vox were alone. Only the hollow feeling of nothingness was left with the rage gone.

She lashed out at Vox as well, feeling polluted. “I said alone,” she grumbled toward him, without feeling. She pushed on his leg that was in contact with her, shoving it away.

“Hmm . . .” Vox answered, eyes fixed on her, as he moved his leg out of her reach. “When you hurt, it is easier to push away. Do you wish that, Ava? Do you truly wish for me to leave?”

Ava looked at him sitting there. She ran her fingers through her hair, not making eye contact. She leaned away from him against the biologics tank, pressing her face into the side until she felt like one of the bubbles within. Popping and swirling.

“No. I don’t want that,” she said softly. “I don’t know what I want anymore. I don’t want to talk.”

Vox turned forward, sitting still, like he did in the prison when she first met him.

“I do want some time alone, though,” she said finally. Vox hesitated before nodding and standing in a brisk motion.

“I will be back,” he said, walking toward the engine door.

Ava didn’t watch him leave. She was too engrossed in pretending she was one of the bubbles.

Once he was gone, Ava breathed in deep, soothed by the smells of grease and the sound of the engine. It caused a fresh wave of tears. She was alone and comforted by an engine more than anything else. An engine. Not anything living.How pathetic.

Well . . . that statement wasn’t entirely true. She was not completely alone.

She looked down at her small container of swirling biologics. They most definitely were alive. And with her.Although,they probably want to rejoin their friends instead of remaining tied down to me.

Ava put her hair back in its bun, tying the greasy strands overly tight against her scalp, before climbing to the top with a bag of their feed in hand. She unscrewed the top of the container to tip the biologics from her jar back in. None left. Not even when she turned the container completely upside down. She shook it slightly, then dipped it in the tank to help dislodge them. When she pulled the container back out, it remained full. Swirling. Swirling.

A fresh wave of sobs came over Ava as she put their food powder in the container and recapped it, placing it around her neck once more and hugging it. She threw more feed into the tank as well before climbing down. Her feet climbed down easily from the top from muscle memory despite her soreness. Her body ached. Now that she was feeling calmer, she felt those aches more acutely.

Ava walked over to the control room and powered on Ebel’s computer and her own. The computers had been restored, the internal ship communications back online. The ship was nolonger linked up to the Phor mainframe however, which was odd.

Ava didn't have the curiosity to explore further. She sat at her little desk, card game on the screen in front of her, and mindlessly played a few rounds. She sat there until she put her head on her arms over the keyboard and dozed to a light sleep.

In the back of her mind, she heard Vox come into the control room and felt him lift her. She didn’t resist, pretending to be in a deeper sleep than she was, as he carried her to her bed in the engine room.

There, she didn’t have to pretend to sleep. Between him stroking her hair and soothing her, she fell into a deep slumber.

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