Page 52 of Touch In Excess

But that was in direct opposition to the fact that in spite of it being harder, Rami still liked himself. He liked being weird. He liked making art and being able to get lost in his thoughts like he was slipping into another universe.

He wouldn’t trade it for anything most days.

And now that he’d found a man who liked him as he was, he was feeling even less keen to be anything other than the collection of atoms the universe had gathered together to make him who he was.

He jumped half a foot when his phone started to buzz, and for a moment, he grinned, thinking it would be Skye. But it wasn’t. Ahmed was sending him a FaceTime request. His stomach sank. It felt like another ambush, but he was feeling so alone and cut off from his family it was impossible to ignore him.

A chance to see one of them, even for a minute?

He swiped the button to answer, then turned the screen away from the stove so Ahmed couldn’t accidentally catch a glimpse of what was in the boiling water. His brother’s face appeared on his screen, his office wall visible in the background.

‘Hi.’

Ahmed gave him the brotherly glare of disapproval. ‘Is that all you have to say?’

‘What else do people say when they answer a call?’

“Rami,” Ahmed said aloud. That was one of only a few words his brother ever vocalized.

With a sigh, he leaned against the counter. ‘Why are you calling?’

‘Because Mama cried,’ Ahmed signed, his brows dipped low.

Rami felt his guts clench. ‘About me?’

‘She thinks she and Baba said something wrong and hurt you. Yara said she tried to call you, but you wouldn’t answer.’

Rami tried to remember the last time his sister called. Weeks ago. Maybe a month. He’d been in the middle of a live, so he hadn’t seen it until after it was over, and he was too overwhelmed to talk to her once it was done.

By the time he remembered, it was too late, and he didn’t want to be forced to lie. This was hard enough.

‘No one upset me. I’m busy.’

‘With your art?’ Ahmed asked. His hands were full of sarcasm, and that hurt. He knew his siblings loved him—and so did his parents—but there would always be a slight disdain whenever they spoke about his job. It must have shown on his face, though, because Ahmed’s face fell. ‘I’m sorry.’

Rami shook his head. ‘I can’t talk long. I have to go.’

‘Please,’ Ahmed signed quickly. ‘Just call them. Please. If they didn’t upset you?—’

‘I can’t.’ He swallowed heavily. ‘I’m trying to work on some stuff at the house, and I’m…’ He hesitated. He couldn’t tell the truth, but he also didn’t want to lie any more than he already had. ‘I’m seeing someone.’

Ahmed’s eyes went wide. ‘A man?’

Rami nodded. He was gay. He’d come out years ago, so of course it was a man. He braced himself.

‘Do you think they’ll be angry? They know you don’t date women,’ Ahmed signed quickly.

Rami’s gaze darted away as he gathered his breath. ‘I want to bring him home to meet everyone. He’s deaf.’

Ahmed brightened and leaned in closer to his screen. ‘Deaf? Like me?’

Rami shook his head. ‘He’s losing his hearing. Learning ASL. He’s not very good. He prefers talking, but he’s trying.’

Ahmed still looked thrilled. ‘I want to meet him.’

‘Soon,’ Rami promised. That was vague enough, wasn’t it? Soon could be any number of days, or weeks, or months. ‘I need more time.’

‘Can I tell them that you’re not going to call soon?’

---