Page 36 of Touch In Excess

Skye walked over and crouched down near one of the tables, staring at the titles. “Ancient Rome?”

“The Roman Empire,” Rami said. “It, uh…it’s a thing. Special interest,” he muttered.

Skye turned to face him. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t catch that.”

Rami took a breath. It always felt so…clinical to say it that way. A special interest. Those were three words out of some WebMD article or a textbook on the symptoms of Autism. It was so much more than that.

Losing himself to history—painting a picture in his mind of what had come eons before him—it felt like being wrapped in euphoria. He could sit and read for hours and hours—for days, if he let himself. He could neglect eating and sleeping and taking a piss or a shower because what he was doing made him so,sohappy.

He had to limit himself. It had been easier when he was with his grandfather. He could drag Rami away without making him feel judged. It was harder at home with his parents, who didn’t quite understand the way his brain worked.

They were never unkind. They were just sharp and confused, and it made Rami feel ashamed, even when they didn’t mean it that way. Now, he had only himself for when to draw the line, and he was his own worst enemy most days.

“Are you okay?” Skye crossed back over to him and put his hands on his hips. “Did I say something wrong?”

Rami shook his head. “My life is…small. And pathetic.”

“It’s neither of those things,” Skye said, “and I’m sorry if anyone ever made you feel like that was true.”

Rami had no idea what to say. The truth was, they were both right. To Rami, his life was perfect. To an outside observer, his life was a joke. He didn’t mind being both men to strangers. But he wanted to be different in Skye’s eyes.

“I don’t have a lot to show you.”

Skye smiled again. “This is enough for now. Thank you for this.”

Rami bowed his head. “Thank you for this afternoon.”

Taking him by the chin, Skye kissed him—soft, slow, chaste. A gift, Rami realized. He took a breath, then broke away andleaned his head on Skye’s shoulder. “I want to see you again. I don’t want to wait two weeks this time.”

“Then we won’t. My schedule can be hectic, but it gets quiet. And I know you probably have a filming schedule too.”

Rami nodded and waited for Skye to look up at him. “I’ll make time too. And, um.” He hesitated, but he knew what he wanted to say. “You can watch. If you want.”

Skye looked startled. “Are you sure? Sweetheart…”

“It might be nice knowing someone’s watching that knows me. That…that knows I’m not just some freak showing off for money.”

“Is that what you think people see?”

“Some people. It’s okay,” Rami said in a rush. “As long as they pay me, they can say whatever they want.”

Skye burst into laughter and kissed him again. “You are perfect.”

“No,” Rami said sternly.

Skye shrugged and tugged him as close as he could, bodies pressed together. He was still smiling. “Fine. You’re not perfect. But you’re perfect enough. Fair?”

Rami wouldn’t answer that because he didn’t believe it, but the fact that Skye did made him grin and cling on just a little tighter and a little longer before circumstance pulled them apart once more.

Ten

Rami: I need you to do something.

Skye: Anything.

Rami: I need you to tell your friends that the channel is mine and ask them not to subscribe. I like the idea of you watching, but I think I need them to not watch. Do you think they’ll agree?

Skye: Yes. Absolutely. But are you sure you want them to know?

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